Muted // Felix-centric

Chapter 16

First of all I wanted to thank you all!
I did not expect for to get so much love on this book, because the only thing I had was an idea. I didn't really had a plan, like I normally have for my other books. I just had an idea and started to write.
So thank you so much for almost 10K reads, over 500 votes and especially all those comments.
I love reading them. They really encourage me to go continue this book, because to be honest I wanted to abondon it at some point and start another book, that I'm currently writing, where I have a plan and have almost finished.

Secondly I don't know when I will be able to update in the future. The updates will probably be irregular.
Right know I am struggling with a few things and I am really not well at handling hard situations. So please excuse my lack of updates in the future.

Sorry for just unloading all this.
But let's start with the chapter now!

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ

"If there's one thing I hate, it's people who make up lies for attention!" a girl blasphemes to her friend. "Me too. I think people like that are so disgusting. Like boy, there really are people out there who have problems like that and you're lying about it. If I were him, I'd be ashamed of myself," her friend replies and they both start to giggle.

It's been like this day in and day out for Felix ever since Jinyoung abandoned him. The worst part is that he never told anyone about his mother's suicide. No one knew about it, so why does everyone suddenly know now? They claim Felix told everyone himself to get sympathy and attention. To be the talking point number one, but Felix hated being the center of attention, so why would he tell such a huge secret about himself to everyone? He didn't care who found out. He's a junior in high school. It was only a matter of time before everyone knew. But what he didn't understand was why the person would start a rumor that Felix told everyone himself just to get attention?

Felix hated his life even more than before and this time he had no one to share his worries with. Jinyoung doesn't look at him anymore, his classmates laugh at him and his father only drinks alcohol and is out late at night. Felix felt more alone than ever before.

"Is this my life from now on?"

꧁꧂

Felix slowly opens his eyes. Before he can even recognize the first object, he feels his body stopped screaming in pain. His limbs finally no longer feel like a rusty car that wants to hit a wall. His limbs are finally free of pain again and he would love to jump into the air. But before he can even raise his arms, he is wrapped tightly around someone and feels something soft on the back of his neck. The feeling is not entirely unfamiliar to him. He knows the feeling. And it doesn't bring up good memories. Felix tries to turn to the person and recognizes Jisung's face.

"Good morning Lixie," the boy whispers into the back of Felix's neck. Felix just smiles at the boy, but his mind is still on Jisung's lips, which keep flitting across the back of his neck. Felix tries to cover up the uncomfortable feeling with the thought that it's just Jisung and not... not...
not his father.
But as soon as he feels the tips of Jisung's lips on the back of his neck again, his whole body tenses up and old memories fly through his head. He really doesn't want to think about his father now, especially not about that night that stole all his innocence.
"H-Hay hyung. C-can you please let me go?" Felix asks in a calm but shaky voice, hoping that Jisung doesn't think anything else of it. "Aww why? We're finally pain-free and can finally enjoy our hugs," says Jisung, wrapping his arms even tighter around Felix.

Felix struggles with a biting feeling. He feels like he did that night and it doesn't make him feel good. Felix knows he's about to have a panic attack, but he can't. He can't have a panic attack in front of Jisung. What would Jisung think of him? He can't lose everything now. He's only just let them into his life. Why won't he be granted anything? As soon as he could even begin to be happy again, his past and his fears catch up with him. Why can't he just let go of this feeling... and just be happy? Why? What has Felix done to be in pain and sadness all the time?