Muted // Felix-centric

Chapter 44

I just finished writing the last chapter... I am so excited to see your reaction...

Words can hurt...

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A gray veil hung heavy over the city as I looked out the window that morning. The raindrops tapped monotonously against the window panes, a dull melody that penetrated the silence. The sky was shrouded in a dull grey, as if it had forgotten the colors of happiness and left only those of sorrow. The streets were empty and silent, as if even the world paused for a moment to mourn the loss that filled this day. Every step through the deserted alleys echoed like an echo of my own dark thoughts.

A heavy feeling of emptiness weighed on my chest as I struggled through the day, the minutes passing like hours, each second a weight on my shoulders. Even the birds seemed to lose their songs, as if they sensed the pain of the world and fell silent to give it space. I knew in my heart that this day was no ordinary day. It was imbued with an inexplicable heaviness, a pain that could not be expressed in words. It was a sad day, when the sun seemed to hide from the suffering of the world, bathing even the brightest colors of life in a gloomy gray.

I hunched my shoulders heavily and sighed softly as I closed the door behind me and made my way to school. Every step felt like a struggle against invisible chains that seemed to bind me to the ground. The path that had once been full of energy and anticipation now seemed endless and tiring. The streets were surrounded by a gloomy atmosphere, as if even the surroundings reflected the mood I was in. The sky was shrouded in thick clouds that swallowed up the sunlight and turned the day a dull gray. No birdsong filled the air, no cheerful laughter broke the silence - only the monotonous sound of footsteps on the sidewalk accompanied me on my way.

My thoughts were heavy and cloudy, like an impenetrable wall of fog that blocked my view of the positive. Every task that lay ahead of me seemed insurmountable, every challenge an insurmountable obstacle. Even the hope of a better day was hidden behind the gray veil of lack of motivation. With every step, the weight on my shoulders felt heavier, as if the weight of the world was resting on me. But despite all the tiredness and exhaustion, I bravely fought my way through the day, hoping that somewhere in the distance there was a glimmer of light waiting to be discovered.

I finally reached the school and paused for a moment in front of the entrance, my eyes involuntarily wandering to a certain person who sparked a spark of hope in my life. It was like a tiny ray of light in the darkness that made me push on despite all the darkness. This one person, whose mere presence gave comfort and hope, stood there at the entrance of the school, surrounded by other students talking and laughing happily. But for me, he was the only anchor in a world that felt bleak and depressing all around me.

A slight smile flitted across my face as I saw the familiar sight of this person, and for a moment I forgot the heaviness that had been with me all morning. It was as if a touch of warmth and confidence returned to my cold heart, and I felt a little less alone in the dreariness of the day. It's not the first time I've stared at him. Every morning I see. Every day I see him in my class and at recess. But I never dare to speak to this innocent soul. I am afraid to infect them with my negativity and bring him out of the light. I would never be able to forgive myself for that.

But today is different. The usually radiant expression on his face, which never loses its warmth, flickers out a shadow for a second. The same shadow that has been with me for years. What if he is not much more different from me than I initially thought? What if it's all just a façade waiting to be broken to reveal his true self? Is he like me? I need to know. I decided to approach him. With hesitant steps, I stepped closer, my heart pounding restlessly in my chest as I tried to find the words to express my thoughts.

"Sorry," I began, my voice brittle with uncertainty. "I know this might sound strange, but... you're like a ray of light for me in all the darkness around us. Your mere presence seems to bring some light into my life, and let me tell you... I like you, a lot." The words came out of my mouth with difficulty, but I felt it was important to say them. He looked at me in surprise, but then a warm smile broke out on his face and I felt my burden lighten a little.

"That's nice of you," he replied softly. But before another sentence could leave his lips, he was summoned by his friends. "Sorry, I have to get to my friends," he said and then disappeared into the crowd. I stood there now... My heart felt so relieved for a few seconds, but now it hurt.
'That's nice of you!' What did that mean? Had he just 'nicely' dumped me? Did he not understand me? I've just confessed my love for him. Shouldn't he fall into my arms and break through the darkness with me? Why is he so cold to me?

I can feel my heart clenching further and every feeling I had for him turning to hate. My already dark world just got even darker. He has extinguished the last light in my life and he's not even sorry. He's just standing there laughing with his friends. He's probably laughing at me with them right now. I've never been hurt like this in my whole life. No one gets away with it. I'm going to make him pay for it. He'll suffer just as much as I am right now. Then I will bring him to me and be his light in this dark world. After that, he will never laugh at me again. He will beg me never to leave him.

"You will be mine... Lee Felix!"

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I think you all realised by now that this POV is from someone you still don't know... or do you?

Who do you think it might be?

Wooyoung?

One of SKZ?

Stranger?

Jinyoung?

Hope you liked it!

~chichi