Muted // Felix-centric

Chapter 18

Apparently there were a few inconsistencies in the last two chapters, so I would like to briefly explain something without spoiling too much.

In Chapter 16, Felix spoke to Jisung and neither of them acknowledged it or even realized it. The reason for this is, as I wrote in Chapter 17, that it was a conscious/unconscious wish of Felix to finally open up to the boys, preferably verbally in his own voice. But as we saw in Chapter 17, Felix can't use his voice even if he wants to. Because he hasn't used it in too long.
What I want to get at is that Chapter 16 was a little insight into Felix's past for you and was intended to show you that Felix trusts the boys and is willing to open up to them.
Chapter 17 should clarify that a bit, since I put a little hint at the beginning that Chapter 16 was just a bit like a dream and never happened.

I hope that cleared up a few inconsistencies. If not, feel free to write any questions in the comments and I'll answer them. Unless it would spoil something, then of course not.

And now let's continue...

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The shower felt like a newly made bed that you could snuggle into. The tub was surprisingly comfortable and the water was pleasantly warm. Felix didn't want to get out of the water, but unfortunately the water didn't stay that warm forever and so he got out of the water after 30 minutes. And honestly, his skin thanked him very much. His fingers were already completely shriveled and his newly healed wounds were completely swollen. Felix dried himself thoroughly and then put on the pajamas that Minho had put out. Then he stood in front of the bathroom mirror and looked at himself.
'It's been too long...' the boy thinks to himself as he brushes his face with his fingertips. He's only been with the boys for a few days and yet he looks so much healthier and more alive. His once narrow face is rounder and his dry lips are finally plump and rosy again.

His skin also looks healthier. He is no longer so pale and his dark circles under his eyes have almost completely disappeared. His freckles are glowing again and his eyes no longer look like empty orbs, but radiate a joy of life again.
What a few days among people you love can do to you.
Felix is ​​eternally grateful to the boys for not giving up on him but fighting for his friendship. He's not quite sure if it's just because they see him as the omega he is now or if they're serious. But he'll find out soon. At the latest when he tells them about his past.

'But are they ready for one of the darkest moments in my life?' Felix asks himself and thinks back to his dream with Jisung. In the dream, he told Jisung about his rape and how his father treated him. Many would say that this must be one of Felix's worst moments, but in fact, J
Felix thinks the death of his mother and his best friend are worse. These two deaths shaped and changed him in more ways than one. After all, it was the two of them who ensured that Felix only thinks about death... including his own.
No 17 year old teenager should think about death the way Felix did and still does. He should enjoy his life and feel joy and love. He should fall in love with a boy for the first time and feel the butterflies in his stomach every time he looks at the person. He should have a mother to run to when he's in crisis again.

But Felix was denied everything.
He doesn't have a mother to love and who loves him.
He doesn't have any friends who invite him to parties.
He doesn't have a best friend with whom he can share everything.
He doesn't even have a father anymore with whom he can try out his latest hobby.
Felix has nothing left.
Except for Chan, who tends to his wounds.
And Minho, who treats him like a son.
And Jisung, who he wants to open up to.
And Hyunjin and Seungmin who are making him laugh.
And Jeongin, who is like a little brother to him.
Even Changbin, who he never really had anything to do with, was worried about Felix when he was in pain.