Bound by Christmas

Chapter Fourteen: Renegotiation

Felix dropped me off at an apartment complex in West Hollywood five minutes before seven o'clock. Looking up at the imposing building, I took in a shaky breath and made my way into the lobby.

I focused all of my attention on the clicking sound of my heels on the marble floor to avoid worrying about what I was going to face. Simply thinking about seeing Sebastián after my behavior at the steakhouse, sent shivers down my spine. What had come over me? Why did I act so out of character?

I didn't know if I could have a future with Sebastián, but I did know I was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions and needed some help. If Roxanne Deneuve could guide me to understanding what I wanted, I would be willing to open up to her —even in Sebastián's presence.

Shaking off my nerves, I approached the concierge and let him know I was meeting with Roxanne. Once he verified my identity, he led me to the elevator and sent me up to the seventh floor. As I exited the elevator and walked toward Roxanne's door, I resolved myself to stay open-minded about the consultation. I was about to ring the doorbell when the door swung open and Sebastián stood in front of me.

"You came," he breathed, giving me a relieved smile.

I nodded and stepped inside the condominium, looking around at the luxurious space. "This is a bit unconventional. Isn't it?"

"Yeah, a little," Sebastián admitted. "Roxanne isn't a therapist or sexologist. She just helps couples with advice based on her own experiences. She's doing me a favor by meeting us in person. Normally, she only does online consultations."

"Right." I made my way into the living room and stared in awe at the floor to ceiling windows with an impressive view of the Los Angeles skyline.

A beautiful blonde woman —sporting a blunt bob haircut— stood in front of the windows, sipping on a glass of wine. When she saw me, she smiled and gave me the once-over. "Sebastián, darling," she purred. "You didn't do her justice. She's stunning."

Sebastián cleared his throat and moved his eyes from me to Roxanne. "I told you her beauty was otherworldly."

Feeling off-kilter with the compliment, I approached Roxanne and held out my hand. "I'm Jenna. It's a pleasure to meet you."

She reached for my hand and gave it a firm shake. "Likewise...I'm Roxanne and I have been a switch for the past twenty-five years. I hope some of my knowledge will be useful to you. Why don't we all have a seat and get comfortable?"

I released her hand and walked toward the sofa. Sebastián followed and sat beside me.

"Jenna, would you like some wine?" Roxanne asked as she approached the armchair next to the sofa.

I shook my head. "No, thank you."

Roxanne made herself comfortable on the armchair, tucking her legs to the side. "So, why don't you tell me about yourself. What made you interested in BDSM?"

"Well, I wasn't necessarily happy or fulfilled with any of my previous relationships," I confessed. "I always felt like I needed more. I needed someone I could respect and trust. I needed someone who would be willing to fulfill my needs and desires without judgment. So when a friend of mine suggested the X Rated app, I decided to give it a shot."

"Interesting," she hummed. "And, Sebastián has been your first and only Dom?"

"Yes."

"Why is that? I would assume someone new to the lifestyle would be interested in exploring a little."

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I felt a connection with him that I had never felt before. From the beginning, I craved his attention and affection. No one else existed for me."