Bound by Christmas

Chapter Nineteen: Vanilla

I sat on Sebastián's sofa as I sipped on some eggnog. I hated eggnog but Sebastián insisted that it was a Christmas staple and I couldn't refuse it. So, I swallowed the disgusting drink trying to convince myself that it wasn't as bad as I'd thought.

After Sebastián and I finished playing, I tried to convince him to do some after care but he'd only allowed a brief hug. He claimed he was fine and didn't need anything more, but I wasn't ready to leave. I knew it had to be difficult for him to give up all control and I wanted to make sure he was okay.

Sebastián was seated next to me, staring out the window at the breathtaking sunset. He was unusually quiet and it was starting to worry me.

"Sebastián, are you okay?" I asked, placing my eggnog on the coffee table and studying him.

"Mhmm, I'm fine," he mumbled.

"Are you really fine, or are you just trying to avoid giving me a truthful answer?"

He turned to face me with a cautious expression. "I'm being truthful, Jenna. I always want to be honest with you. I don't want to go back to being closed off and risk losing you."

"Okay," I nodded. "I'm glad you're fine. I know what we did couldn't have been easy for you."

"I don't need things to be easy, Jenna. I'm willing to put in the effort to make us work. If that means I have to submit to you occasionally, then that's what I'll do."

I bit my lip and turned to face the window.

Honestly, I didn't know if that's what I wanted. I had only suggested switching because I needed to see how far he would go to show me that he trusted me. But, I still didn't know if I could trust him. I wanted to be able to give him a second chance —since it was obvious I was struggling with getting over him— but it was hard to put a year of his actions behind me and start fresh.

As I stared out the window, Sebastián reached for my hand and started to caress my palm.

"Jenna," he breathed. "Would you be willing to do something for me?"

"What's that?"

"I'd like to play a game of truth or dare with you."

"Sorry?" I asked, turning toward him and feeling a little stumped by his proposal.

"I think it'll give you the chance to ask me anything you want to know."

I slipped my hand out of his grasp and considered his suggestion. Truth or dare? It sounded silly, but it could be a good way to see how honest he'd be with me.

"Okay," I agreed. "I'll go first. Truth or Dare?"

"Truth," he answered.

"What made you want to be a Dom?"

"Wow," he chuckled. "You're giving me the tough question right out of the gate."

I didn't respond and quietly waited for him to answer the question.

Taking in a deep breath, he started to talk. "I grew up with a single mom...just like you. That's actually one of the things that intrigued me about you when we first met. It was something we had in common and I could relate to. Unlike your mom, mine didn't chase after men seeking a relationship but she did move us around a lot. It was hard to raise a little boy on her own, so we moved anytime she found a better job opportunity. Growing up, I hated the uncertainty our lifestyle created and I started to crave control. Then, when I was older and had a girlfriend, I suggested trying a D/s relationship."

"That makes sense. I can understand wanting control in your relationships after not having any throughout your childhood. Thank you for sharing that."

"I owe it to you, Jenna. You deserve to know everything about me. Now, it's your turn. Truth or dare?"