Martyrdom

18

"My past was dark. That everytime I try to tell them  my hands and feet tremble. It's been fourteen years since the most painful thing happened to me, Nini."

I could only listen to her and not talk. The pain in her eyes are very visible.

"I'm still not ready."

I hugged her tight. And whispered.

"I understand."

We did not do anything other than me hugging her tight and her having a hard time over that dark past. She didn't say anything but her tight hug never failed to tell me she's afraid and in pain. I tugged her to sleep. She keep on mumbling of not letting her go.

"After I sleep, you can go, please just not now."

I kissed her forehead and nodded. I rub her back until she fell asleep. I didn't notice I also did fall asleep. I woke up in between two and three in the morning. Lisa's soundly asleep so I hurriedly but quietly move and exits myself.

I don't know when you'll be ready to tell me about your hidden past but I will try, I will try to wait and will never disappoint you again about how I trust you.

When I got home, I saw Tae sleeping in our bed. I went in the bathroom without making a sound and took a quick bath before sleeping beside him. He scooted over me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I let him do it and just held his arms and closes my eyes.

Morning came. I am staring at my mother's phone number. Tae went to me and hugged me from behind.

"What are you doing?" I held his arms and sigh.

"I want to call her." She stared on my phone.

"Mom?"

I nodded.

"Then why won't you call her?"

"You know what I saw." I already told him that. "I'm not ready to see that again if ever I surprised her."

"She still needs you darling, she's alone."

He kissed me good bye and headed to his office. I sighed. Alone again. I had a bath and breakfast. I watch what Tae sent me in my email. It's the description in the on going construction in Puerto Rico.

I called Chaeng to ask her if she safely got home but instead she had a cold tone saying 'we have to talk, Jendeuk'.
I came to her house and stared at her. She raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes.

"Anything you want to tell me?" She asked.

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh you're not sure." She said.

She's upset that I left her. Her maid brought us juice and a slice of cake for the both of us.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"I want to know the guy you kissed."

My eyes froze on her when she said that. She sat in front of me quietly with her stare not so usual.

"Tae texted me if you're with me before I left the club." My chest started to rise and fall. "I replied yes, you're with me but actually not I saw you rode a car with her."

"Chae."

"I know her, Jennie. I know Lisa. You have an affair with that woman?"

"There's no point of denying."

"So it's a yes."

"Yes."

"For how long, Jennie?"

"A month already?"