Martyrdom

20

The rain was pouring hard. It's already two am in the morning. I held on to the coat Lisa gave me before I got out her apartment. The house was dark with din lights on the corner. Maybe he's asleep again. I went straight to the stairs and stepped on the steps until I reached the hallway. I almost jerk on my feet when the door on Tae's study opened. The lights here are not too bright and not to dim either, I can clearly see him. He stared at me.

"How was the party?" His voice was not as usual as he asked me. He was cold with his stare that I couldn't recognize.

My hands started to tremble. I can feel his anger. I remember that face when he beat me up near to pulp.

"Just fine."

"We're you with Chae the whole time?"

"Yes—"

I didn't notice the bottle of whiskey he was holding he throw it on the corner of the hall making me gasp and jerk on my feet. I even slightly shouted. I was startled, was shock that I stepped backward with my cold hands and trembling lips.

"Don't fuck up with me!"

He took steps towards me and smelled my neck. I closed my eyes afraid of what he's going to do. I can't move. It's like my feet are nailed on the floor that I cannot move to step back and run. He stepped back and shouted, he turned the table upside down and pointed me with his finger. The vases and other decorations together with the books shattered on the floor. My tears blinded my eyes.

"T-Tae..." I called with my trembling lips.

"That perfume! That scent! Don't play dumb on me, Jennie!"

I shook my head and sob when he stepped closed to me again and pulled the coat and held my hair tightly pulling me towards his study. He pushed me on the floor. I rolled on the cold floor and held my head when I lightly hit the corner of the sofa. I sat afraid of him and pushed myself on the corner. He's doing it again. He's hurting me again, he's going to hurt me. I prayed he wouldn't do what he did.

"I was never a fool Jennie! I was just waiting for you to tell me but you didn't! You kept lying!"

He knew. He already knows about the affair I have. He took something from his drawer and throw it on the floor, on me. With my trembling hands I managed to see them one by one. I covered my mouth when I saw me and Lisa, pictures of us in places. In the club dancing, and outside the car making out with me hugging Lisa and ber kissing me and touching me anywhere on my body. There was a picture of me an hour ago  this was last night my clothes are the same as now. When I went out of her apartment's building. When Lisa fetched me on the spa and salon, where we secretly kissed on the dance floor and I can clearly see Lisa's hand inside my dress on the short skirt I am wearing. He knew all along that I am cheating on him. I looked up at him.

"Don't give me reasons, reasons that I won't believe Jennie!"

"I was going to tell you." I stood up and tried to explain but I know I can't get out from this.

"I was just afraid."

"Afraid?! And you went out not afraid of what you're gonna do?! How long has it's been?"

I shook my head.

"How long?!" He gripped my jaws.

"F-Four.. months..." I sobbed. "Tae please."

"Did she do it again? Fuck you? Did she?!"

"Y-Yes... Ah!" He slapped me making me taste my own blood.

I groaned in pain when he pulled me out and pushed me on the shattered pieces of the glass table that he flipped. I cried more because of the pain. He pulled me up by my hair. I started shouting in pain and pulling his hand off me begging for him to stop. I heard footsteps from the stairs. I know those are the maids. I saw them watching me with the security guards he has in this house. When Tae pushed me again making me kneel on the floor. I looked up to them tried to get my hand but I shook my head. I shook my bead to her telling her to ask help because if ever she'll also be beaten by Tae.

"Tae!" I shouted and shouted for him to stop  grabbing me and to stop slapping me. But he just won't.

He pushed me on the huge marble vase near the stairs. I closes my eyes in pain when my stomach hit the hard marble vase. I almost roll down the stairs together with the furniture. I held on to the glass hand rest when I felt the blinding pain that crossed my stomach. I looked down my thigh when I felt a warm liquid stream down.

"Haa..." I breathes out shock of what's happening.

"Miss Kim? You're bleeding." She said and helped me. "Oh my gosh!"

They started to panic when they saw my thighs full of blood and continuously flooding.

I held on to my stomach and cried.

I don't know what to do.

"Ready the car!" That's the last thing I heard before I run out of consciousness.

••••

I woke up in the hospital. I looked around the room. I'm alone. The sun is up through the window. I can hear people talking outside the room. And then it opened. Two nurse and a doctor came. With the person I am not expecting to see. Mommy.

"You're awake. How are you feeling?" She asked and came to me. She scanned me with her eyes, from my face to my hands.

There are few bandages on my hands and my lip is wounded. I have a bandage on my forehead and my stomach is still in pain a little.

"Jennie, what have you done?"

I remembered what happened. The traumatizing and the painful dawn. I want to go to her. I want to see her and run from here.

"Jennie, talk to me."

"I cheated." I responded without realizing it.

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't know."

"Jennie, why?"

"Why mom?" I looked at her and cried. "Why do I have to feel pain just to be happy? Why do I ended up like this?"

"You lost your baby."

My forehead furrowed.

"You're pregnant."

"W-What?"

"Five weeks Jennie, five weeks."

****