used to love. | sunsun

18. young & dumb

author's note,
while writing this chapter i was listening to a lot of cigarettes after sex (especially the cig after sex album lmao), so i wanted to recommend it to you guys while reading, teehee!

[please don't forget to comment & vote!]
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"Stop crying already, hyung.. I could never hate you." He said, breaking away from the tight embrace to take a look at his hyung's face. God, he was so beautiful. More beautiful than all the stars that gathered that night. In Sunoo's eyes, he has always been the most beautiful.
The older one's eyes were swollen, while glassy drops of water were still slowly dripping down. Yet, he looked like an angel dropped from heaven. The frown slowly turned into a faint smile as he cupped Sunoo's small face.

They both gazed into each other's eyes for a while, just enjoying the moment as the ocean waves were crashing against each other and created this relaxing sound.
Sunoo would have described this moment as romantic, while Sunghoon had nothing else on his mind than the younger.

"Thank you.. I won't disappoint you again, Sun." Sunghoon finally said, while shyly avoiding eye contact.

"Wow, how long has it been since I last heard that nickname?"

"Too long. It has been too long."

"Pfft.. I'm glad you realized, hyung." He whispered while holding Sunghoon's hands that were still on his face. He rubbed the hands with his thumb. So soft... so warm.. he could melt. As he looked at the other's face, he bit his lips before mouthing, "You're so handsome."

"Stop doing this to me, my heart is weak for you.. Besides, I should be the one to flirt with you first." He shouted. Sunghoon left the hot cheeks and used his hand to dramatically pretend to be shot in the heart while gasping hurtfully. Then he put his hand on the rosy cheeks again.
The jokes he used to use when teasing Sunoo were back. "Are you blushing now? It's too dark for me to see.." He added.

"Can't you feel my cheeks literally burning against your hands right now, huh?"

"Mhm, I did."

"So why waste the time to ask?" He questioned, while lightly hitting the others chest.

Sunghoon smiled. He smiled so broadly.

"Stop showing off that sweet smile of yours and answer my question."

"I simply wanted to hear you say it, am I not allowed to?"

"Ugh, so cheesy.."

They walked along the long beach for a while, not letting each other out of their sight. The windy weather was a bit chilly and the small lanterns emitted dim light every few meters. Every time they passed one, they glanced at each other quickly. Until Sunghoon stopped under a light. Little beetles flew up into the bright bulb.

Sunoo focused at Sunghoon confused, while rubbing his hands together. Sunghoon noticed the gesture and scratched his neck as he asked, "Are you cold?"

"Hm? Ah no I'm— No, no, don't take off your pullover— Hyung, I said I'm—"

"Just wear it, don't worry. You're sensitive to the cold.."

"You're confusing me again," sunoo said quietly, not intending for sunghoon to hear him, but the older seemed to have noticed. He hesitated, but gathered the courage to finally open his mouth, "Give me your hand, Sunoo.." He gently took the smaller boy's hands, squeezing them before placing them on his own heart, "What do you feel?"

His heart was racing. It was pounding so hard that Sunoo could feel it all over his hand. "What are you trying to say?"

"You're such an idiot, Sunoo.. I like you. No, I've been crushing over you like crazy already."

"What.. what are you saying? Since when..? Then why did you ignore me?"

"I've had a crush on you since elementary school and never had the courage to tell you... you know, we were kids. I didn't know what true feelings were.. I thought the feeling would slowly go away, but god... it only grew bigger with every day we spent together. ha...I went crazy..." Staring at the floor as he fiddled with his fingers, he continued, "It got to the point where I told my parents about you...they.. they didn't take it as lightly as I thought, so they forced me to distance myself from you. From the only person I adored."

Sunoo didn't know how to answer. His head spinned as his eyebrows furrowed.

"As you know, I went to Poland to focus on my career later on. Everything went well so I had the opportunity to stay for a few years, so of course my mother didn't refuse the offer. I was wondering what happened to the letters I wrote to you, but I guess they never even arrived. My mother made sure I couldn't contact you.. Even after I returned to South Korea, my mother brainwashed me into believing that paying even the slightest attention to you.. was wrong...
I don't want to play the victim, obviously you've been through so much more pain than I have. I'm sorry it took me forever to realize it. To realize that I love you... and I always will."

"I.. hic.. Sunghoon hyung.. hic hic.. I love.. hic.." Sunoo cried like a waterfall clutching his heart tightly, "I love.. hic.. I love you so fucking much."

He patted Sunoo's head gently and leaned forward to stare into the bright eyes that had blinked into a small moon, blushing. "May I?" he asked, staring at the younger man's lips.

The taller closed the distance between their lips after Sunoo nodded in response. They sucked each other's lips, not caring about the rest of the world. The wet kiss lasted so long, but neither wanted to let go of the other. It felt so good.. so damn good. Sunoo grabbed the boy's neck and continued to smash his lips against the other, a soft moan leaving his lips in between. The movements of their lips harmonized so well and the windy weather was no longer cold.

"And I thought Sunghoon would never confess.." Jake half-whispered behind the big tree.

"THEY WERE A THING??"

"Niki shut your loud fucking mouth up."