used to love. | sunsun

02. sweet lies

t h r o w b a c k
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I've been a big fan of Sunghoon hyung since I was a kid. I watched on TV how he glides his skates so smoothly through the ice, doing several spins without getting dizzy and dancing so peacefully on. I was fascinated by his talent and thought he looked too cool to be real.

Every time I saw him walking through the school hall I wanted to be friends with him. He was a fairly quiet boy and shy when anyone mentioned seeing him on television, covering his face shyly and giggle while his cheeks turned into a shade of pink.

His eyes were dark brown and he had many birthmarks on his face, about three clearly visible to be exact. Thick beautiful eyebrows and pale skin. He really was like an ice prince.

When I turned 5, I decided to go up to him while he was playing with a golden retriever puppy and told him about his wonderful attitude while skating, directly asking him to be friends.

I was a very energetic and sociable child so making new friends was never difficult, but I was a little nervous asking someone as special as him to be my friend.

"The puppy is cuter than you though," he replied nonchalantly, leaving me speechless.

"He's no cuter than me. I'll be cuter."

He looked at me and laughed at my confidence and I slowly shrugged, feeling embarrassed.

While impatiently waiting for his answer I figured I should leave as he didn't answer my question but preferred to play with the puppy. Just as I was about to slowly walk away, I felt a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently, and turned to see his face just inches apart from mine.

"I haven't even answered your question yet and you already want to leave?", he asked after a while, now standing and gave me his hand.

"Hmm.. Let's be friends." Hyung gave me his widest smile, showing off his tiny fangs and cute dimples on his right cheek.

Even though we were in different classes, we grew very close. He would take me to his skating practice sessions and we would spend all our time after school playing around and getting dirty all over the place, but we didn't care as long as we were having fun.

He hated it when I spoke to him informally, even though we were only a year apart. Still, I enjoyed seeing him pout and getting sulky every time.

Sunghoon always took care of me and my health, knowing I've always been a bit weaker. I felt like no one would ever understand me like this boy I met through a silly conversation did.

He made me laugh with his silly dad-jokes and smiled brightly when I actually found his jokes funny. He made sure I ate every meal, although he didn't, because he had to take care of his body when he competes. Even when he had his own problems, he always put me first and we were a safe place for each other. He was like an older brother I never had.

He had promised to always be by my side and he will always be grateful that we met each other.             
"If I ever win a skating competition abroad, I would thank you first, sun."

"Pinky promise, Sunoo-ya." he would say, kissing my forehead while i had a strange feeling in my stomach that i've never felt before, wishing he would keep those soft lips there a little longer.

"Forever and ever.", he promised me once again.

As we got older it became more difficult to keep in touch as we were both much busier, me with school and Sunghoon hyung with his skating activities as he now plays for our country. But I still tried to hang out whenever I could, even though he refused to go out with me and said he was busy. I couldn't understand what I had done wrong or what had happened to our friendship.