hand in unlovable hand | shin tsukimi x reader

apology

Despite their surprisingly threatening demeanor, you felt a bit of relief once you fully registered who you were speaking to. The man lets out a condescending laugh, throwing his hands behind his head and interlacing his fingers.

     "And what would the likes of you need with me?" He questions, trying to put himself on a pedestal above your questionable duo.

     You purse your lips together, fighting a displeased frown from forming.

     "We're looking for Gin. Have you seen him?" You ask quickly, wanting to get out of the conversation as soon as possible.

     There was nothing wrong with the man, nor did you particularly dislike him. In that same vain, you didn't particularly like him either. It seemed had made it a point to separate himself from everyone else; and he did a pretty good job of it.

     "That strange child? No, I don't think I have." He thoughtlessly replies.

     "Don't call him that." You assert, crossing your arms and shifting your weight to your right leg.

     "Quite irritable lately, aren't you, (Y/N)?" He scoffs, similarly crossing his arms.

     Sara frowns, empathetic of you during this encounter. She contemplates saying something to back you up or diffuse the situation; but from where she stands, you haven't been particularly helpful or kind to her thus far.

     The prisoner's eye twitches, dually annoyed with your attitude and guilty for insulting the child you cared so much for. He remains silent though, keeping up the facade.

     "Really? I've checked everywhere." You pry, unfolding your arms to appear less closed off.

     The man turns his head to the zen garden, sighing. "No, I have not seen him. I'm shocked he isn't with you, Sara Chidouin."

     "Of course." You groan, balling your fists. "Alright, thanks. I'll look around I guess."

     You quickly turn to exit the room, but before you could cross over into the next - Alice speaks up.

     "(Y/N)."

     "What?" You reply, not bothering to face him.

     "I hope you may reconnect with him."

     Silently, you lock eyes with Sara before exiting.

~~~

     You sigh, tossing the uncapped pen over the side of your bed. Staring at the paper you were working on in scrutiny, you contemplate what should be done with it.

     You had spent what you assume to be the past hour working on an apology letter for Gin. Though you were stubborn in your conversation with Sou, you came to find that you agreed with him. A needlessly emotional conversation wouldn't solve anything.

     This letter was your fifth. The previous four didn't feel right to you. Whether they were too selfish, too emotional, not emotional enough, or flat-out omitting the scenario that caused you to want to write this apology, something about them all struck you as odd; and after re-reading this one for the thousandth time, it was starting to sound bad as well.

"Gin, I'm sorry for everything that's happened - both here and outside of this place. I wish I could've prevented you from being roped into this, but I now think it was very unlikely I would've  succeeded in doing that. What I'm more sorry for is leaving you behind. When we first got here, I tried to make sure I knew where you were and what you were doing at all times. I think I've gotten too comfortable with the others, and I understand why you're upset that I'm spending time with Sou. I know he isn't a great person, but I think he trusts me, just how you trust Sara. I'll be there for you from now on, even if you don't want me to be. You don't have to come find me or anything when you read this, but just know I love you, lil dude. Nothing will ever change that."