Dirty Love - A Dangerous Game

Part 14

"Oh, my gosh..." I stumble off of the mattress and almost knock Thomas completely off his side of the bed.

“What... What?" I see him frantically sit up and look at me. I run to the corner of my room and throw on a red sweatshirt.

“My mom just walked in on us... I have to go talk to her..." Before I can hear him reply run out of my room. I run down the stairs, skipping every other one and finally walk into the living room. I look around but | don't see her. "What the..." I mumble to myself. I look around as I walk into the kitchen. I see my brother standing by the fridge with a glass of water in his hands. "Hi Sammy..." I continue to look around. “Do you know where Mum is?" He looks at me sweetly and smiles.

"I think she's outside in the garden... Why did you make a fuss comin’ down here?" He points at the stairs and I realize I'm still panting.

"I just need to speak with her... Thank you..." I walk over to him and give him a hug. "Love you, bro."

I open the porch door and walk out onto the cold wood deck. I look to my right and see my mom sitting on our rocking swing that is attached to the ceiling of the porch. She is looking out into the distance and her hair is blowing in the wind. She doesn't even acknowledge me; she just continues to stare. I take a deep breath and walk over to her. I sit down on the swing close and I watch the view as well. After a few unsettling minutes I decide to speak.

"Mom..." I look down at my hands and play with my fingers.

"Darlin’, don't.” She cuts me off. “Just don't..." Shit, she's mad.

“But you don't understand... Mom... Let me explain...” I turn to her. I have to at least try and explain.

“No, Sarah. You don't need to explain anythin’ okay?"

“I have to..." I lean towards her.

“No, you damn don't because I knew that boy adored you the second you two walked into this house." I feel like all the breath in my lungs has suddenly disappeared. What? "Don't even try to deny it, Sarah... I know you. I saw the way you looked at him when we were sittin’ havin’ dinner yesterday. Him as well... You were effortlessly happy. Do you know how long it's been since I've seen you that way?" She stares into my eyes. "Listen to me. I don't know what's going on between you two because that's none of my business..." She reaches over to my lap and holds my hand. "I trust you, Sarah. I know how mature you are. I won't judge you and I won't judge him. Just be careful and use your brain, sweetheart.” I feel her thumb rubbing the top of my hand.

“Okay...” I give her a small smile. "I knew that I couldn't keep this from you...” I let out an uncertain chuckle. "I just knew it...”

"It's Mama's intuition, kid. Ever since you stepped foot in this house with him you have this different air about you." I look down to our hands intertwined. "It's wonderful...” She leans down so she can see my face. "Yes, at first I wasn't so sure about seeing you all cuddled up with him but after a moment or two, it seemed right. I then realized I knew it all along."

“Yeah...” I look out to the blue Texas sky. It's so simple and beautiful. I wish everything could just be simple and beautiful. "I just..." I feel my eyes begin to tingle. I just miss my Mom so much and I wish that I had her around me all the time. "I don't know what to do..."

“We can talk about it if you want... I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable tellin' me anything.” I feel her begin to rock the swing back and forth with her feet. It's soothing on some level.

“I don't... Mom... I just don't know what to do. This wasn't supposed to be anything more than... Him and I weren't supposed to..." I shake my head and I feel a single tear fall. I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. I'm not sad. l'm just confused and scared of what's going to happen with Thomas and I. He's married. He has a wife.. it's all so complicated.