I'm BROKEN

Chapter 8

During my solitude, I made myself scarce in any public place, I didn't meet with friends nor family. I kept it between school and home

Lando kept asking what happened between Oneil and I.
He said Oneil kept asking about me, but I knew I couldn't tell him.

"Tell Oneil yuh nuh know where me dey, tell him mi father take me."

Lando gave me a puzzled look but decided not to go any further. After  that he just stopped asking and believe me it was a relief.

Things with my mom was far from ok but she was cordial with me. She made sure  I was ok but that was about it.Sometimes she was very aggressive towards me other times it was like the old days.

I was resolved that I was my own enemy. So whatever I got I took it.

About eight months later I met Jay.

We met through a mutual friend and he became my tutor. I was very wary of men, but he kept his distance like a true gentleman.

Jay was attending the community college not far from my high school and he was an A student. He assisted my friend and I with our projects and helped us to study for our final Exams.
During these stressful times he was my rock, always had my back and was always encouraging me to take my education seriously.

You can imagine with the lack of a positive male role model how attached I got to this motivation.

I wanted to please him. Make him proud.

During the last year of my high school we established a relationship.
I was already sixteen and ready to graduate so I decided I was going to let him meet my mother

Might as well show her who me a dey wid rather than mek she think mi all over di place.

"Mommy?" , I approached her while she cooked dinner.

Jesus Christ suppose this woman throw hot oil pon me!

"Ratty?" , I was safe. She only called me Ratty when we are at ease.

Deep breath in, release!

" Mommy look at me please?" She did.

"I want to apologize for embarrassing you, I know you don't think much of me now, but I was really going through a lot at the time and I was under a lot of pressure" she didn't say anything but stared straight at me so I continued.

"I'm very sorry mommy, please forgive me"

" Mi forgive you Ratty, but mi cant tell you how disappointed I am in your actions. Thanks for the apology, but whatever you did a go through yuh cuda tell me, me a yuh madda Tiara"

My heart sank......... I wish I could tell the truth mommy, but that will die with me.

"I wont hide anything from you again Mommy, and that's why I want to tell you that I have a boyfriend and I want you to meet him."

Her eyes opened wide and I thought she was getting angry.

A smile lit her already beautiful face.

" Sure, I'm going to be home Saturday, let him come over"

Well rass, that went well.