I'm BROKEN

Chapter 10

For days I thought about what he had done. It was not really bothering me but it really did shake me up a bit. He said it was a joke and I'm choosing to believe him.

Ediat him tek me fa mon!

B yuh see di yute treat yuh diffrent bredda? No! so stop meds dat. Everything good.

I coached myself  and my inner queen quieted down.

Years passed and I was yam out fully.

D wul rass grung if you ask me!

I bent backwards to please him and he just always seemed to find issues, yet I think I loved him more.

Jay and I went through minor disagreements he said awful things but he was never physical again.

He was back to being a sweetheart after every argument......The one fell in love with.

So I stayed.
I graduated high school achieving high marks in my Csec exams and decided to go to college.

I was with my brother who lived in the city, to be closer to school.

The relationship between Jay and I flat lined.

Long distance relationships was just not it.

Things soon fizzled out as we were not seeing each other much and he soon became a community dog.

There was no girl left in Eden that didn't know how his dick looked.

After a year he left Eden and was living in the US, at least that's what Lando told me when I last visited Eden.

I was not going to have a disloyal man in my life, I'm sorry.

Years passed and Jay didn't reach out. It hurt like hell but I managed to get through the heartbreak.

I had been through so much while away from my mom and I allowed it not realizing I was being abused.

I feared telling her,she would've been ballistic and wouldn't have let me continue school.

I endured hardships for the first two years .

In the first year  I was living at my brother's babymother's house while he lived elsewhere.

He thought it was more ideal to have me live with her as a young lady.

About three months later she invited another man who had just returned from  prison to stay  in the same bed I was sleeping.

The guy almost raped me the first night he was there.  

She said I was lying and called my brother to come get me out of her house.

He seemed to also believe I was lying even though he took me away from that place.

He never said another word about it and it bothered me because was a police officer, why was he not defending me?

No one seemed to care so I told my mom who called my brother angry and in tears.

That day,  I told him about the side man she had.

He never let me forget that moment.

He proceeded to beat my ass like I was his child , like he had a vendetta against me.

This was the first time being beaten by a man I loved.

I thought I deserved it for being secretive about her cheating, he deserved my loyalty.

I continued to live with him but I was dead ass on finishing school.

I hated him for what he did but I stayed.

One year later his children's mother came to live with us again in his house this time.

I was again pushed aside when he asked his friend next door to let me stay in his living room .

The friend agreed but at a cost.

The price was him molesting me whenever I was asleep and he passed through the living room.

I didn't say anything for a while, but one day I asked him not to do that and he locked me out of the house.

Something inside me snapped and I started cussing him and his woman.

Bad idea Tiara.

He came out and attacked me. I was beaten so badly I had to go to the hospital.

My mother burned their house to the ground.

That was the day I realized where my anger came from.

She was adamant I come home but I wanted to finish school.

She gritted her teeth and allowed me to live on Campus that was when I met Olivia who later became my backbone, my best friend, my confidant, my sister -cousin-aunty-bestie.

I finished school after two more years then came back home to mommy.

I was twenty-two years old  in the prime of my life.

Unfortunately , I was all versions of an educated yamhead.

How did I find out I was a fool?

Two weeks after coming home I saw Jay again, well he came by my house.

"Ratty!", I sat up straight in the couch to stare at the open door. The voice was so sexy, damn!

I hope ano one a mi cousin dem voice n mi dey yah a lust laaaawwwd ! I shivered with mock disgust.

"Tiara?" He called again.

Den a who dat ?

The person was making their way to the grille from the front gate .

I got up quickly as my heart skipped a beat.

"Could it really be him ? I thought Lando dem say him gaan a farrin, Shit!"

I leaned on the door  frame taking in the god that was infront of me.

Jesus! Him get cuter eh? Blood fiyah!

He was dressed in a black ripped  jeans Shorts. Black Gucci top, clarks pon foot, Creed a kick and box up mi nostrils mek me drawers a flood out instant! Boy body well buff , tats pon him arms.... And those locks. Yeah boy!

He gave me that dimpled lopsided grin,

"My baby dat?"

" Me? See yuh mad?" I said in my most gangster voice.

"Wid wa now? Fi remind the one and only girl I ever loved that she's my baby?"

"Wa yuh want? How much years mi no see you  and all of a sudden a mi di only girl yuh eva love an mi a u baby! Tek mi fi ediat" I responded

I was proud of the words coming out of my mouth but my insides was in chaos.

"Baby a circumstances mon, open di grille so we can talk nuh!" He turned to look at the slick black Mark X parked at my gate, "or come we go fi a drive."

Rassclaat den a wa gwaan yah so? Like him dead serious too.

"Maa go fi mi slippers, maa cum"

He smiled fully this time,

"There's ma boo,hurry up". He made his way back to his car.

Can stay dey Mummy dun say she no want yuh in yah think a cum me wa cum!

But for real......I was curious and horny too after four years of no action who wouldn't be?