I'm BROKEN

Chapter 13

I heard the car pull in and I had an instant headache.

Shemar was watching his tablet on the couch, smiling. Little cutie pie.

Hold it innuh girl, be calm! I coached myself.

He opened the door and paused staring at Shemar who looked up when he heard the door  opening.

"Dada,Dada!" He squealed excitedly , wiggling off the couch to run over to his dad.

So him see him regularly den, Ok Mr Davis yuh slick yuh fuck!

He bent down to pick him up, eyes locked to mine as I watched them from the kitchen doorway.

"Hey papa!", he didn't sound thrilled greeting his son.

I raised my brows and cocked my head to the side staring at him intently.
My expression said, "Really now?"

"Tee, I am so sorry you had to find out this way, I wanted to tell you so bad but I knew it would hurt you babe, please B say something."

The standard English a come out, the taming speech. The puppy dog look. The softest tone.

I looked him dead in the eyes and smiled.

"You good man ." I walked back into the kitchen,my heart breaking.

I know that he knew I was mad.

"The nerve of this nigga though!" I thought.

Leaning onto the sink with my back to the door, I heard him walk in and I hurriedly wipe the tears that were flooding my face .

" I'm sorry Tee, but why yuh take him? Brandy did not say anything to me and you agreed to take him without my permission, I love my son but he cannot be here, not with you, he is not your responsibility."

"What di fuck yuh mean why him dey yah? Yuh a him fada!........A mi fi a ask yuh why di fuck him dey yah?" I spun around so quicky he flinched as if he expected me to hit him, I used it to my advantage to get into his face.

"Yuh carry me come a town come style me, and breed woman pon me, tell woman how mi cyaan breed, Yuh fucking shit!", I loaned him the palm of my hand across his face.

" Style yuh how? Me eva show up nobady inna yuh face? Which gyal eva can come to yuh bout me?" He asked rubbing his jaw.

I was a bit surprised he didn't hit me back.

" Hear da fucking ediat yah, Jah jah?" , I was crying uncontrollably now but I was out of my mind with rage.

"Calm dung bredda, yuh see how mi calm? Easy yuhself mon."

"Dont fucking tell me bout calm dung. Yuh sick me stomach Johncrow, daawgshit, crow bait, shit house , all yuh want a some zinc now!"

"Me fucking hate yuh! Mi hate yuh Jared! Mi wish mi did listen wen mi madda talk to mi, yuh frigging piece a shit!"

"Di fuck do yuh gyal? Shut the fuck up and listen nuh! Yuh jus a chat an a scream like yuh fucking mad" ,He bellowed at me.

He was in my face now, down to my level, nose to nose. I gave zero fucks at this point.

If a dirt a dirt, fuck this shit!

"Wa yuh mean wa do me, wa do you big whoring daag?, wa yuh shuda concern bout a fi tell me yuh have a child out there yuh a cum inna chattings wid me bout why him dey yah. Yuh wutlis pussyhole!" I screamed back.

He stood there stupidly looking at me .

" Man cudn't badda wid fuckery like this, mi hurt yuh enough areaddy B, yuh no see dat? Yuh a d last person mi did wa find out bout Shemar.", he sounded so defeated, I almost felt sorry for him.

"Suck yuh mada batty bwai!", I hollered through tears as I walked away from him.

His eyes opened wide and his expression became dark. 

"Wa yuh jus sey to me?" He said, almost too low

"Like yuh dea......."
He was infront of me in two strides.
"WHAM!"
His backhand connected with my lips  before I could finish the sentence. I didn't even see it coming.

True definition of box back the words dung  yuh throat.

Tears filled my eyes from the impact. I lunged at him scratching at his face, but he caught my tiny frame mid air and grabbed my throat. He squeezed and I clawed at his hand.

"Yaah fucking ediat? Yuh fucking gwaan too much now man. Re-fucking-lax. Bumboclaat , like a kill yuh wa mi kill yuh innuh ediat gyal?"  He said through gritted teeth.

I stared at him wide eyed, pleadingly.  His face had transformed into a monster, his eyes wild and unseeing. I have never seen  Jay like this before.

I felt my mind going blank just in time for him to release me.

"Get up, Yuh fucking stupid bitch!" My lips were bloody and already swollen.

I laid there in a heap on the floor, my dignity shattered.
How could he do this to me?

This is the second time he has assaulted me but this time was different. He seemed willing to erase me just now.

I watched as he picked up his son and walked out of the room.

Shemar was crying and reaching for me.

"She is not yuh fucking madda, learn dat." He  harshly dragged him away from me which caused him to cry harder.

My heart wrenched.

Shit me forget the baby was here! Shit, shit, shit.....,,,babies are not supposed to see these things enuh mon.

The first day with his child and already I was the wannabe mother.

What possessed this man to choke me like this? 

If me nuh kill yuh tonight mi nuh name Tiara!  Feel mi a one a dem ediat gyal dey yuh jus beat up n call it a day? Watch mi and yuh.