Overflowing (Book 3)

~Chapter Five~

The next morning when I woke up, Asahi was already gone. He had an early morning class to catch. My first class was at eleven, so I still had about an hour until I had to be there. I got dressed in a pair of joggers, a t-shirt, sneakers, and I threw on one of Daichi's hoodies. It was one from high school, having his name and volleyball number on the back. He had one with my name and number on the back.

When I was dressed, I made sure my backpack was stocked and then sat at my desk to pass some time. I texted Daichi, just letting him know I was getting ready to head to my classes and that I loved him. I wasn't expecting a reply, I figured he was probably in class already, if he was even awake yet. But not getting a text back almost instantly like I'm used to hurt a little bit.

I soon put my phone away and headed out with my bag.

~*~

Between two of my classes today, I decided to explore campus a little bit. I ended up finding out that we had a Starbucks on campus, so of course I had to stop and get something.

I ordered an iced matcha latte and then sat down at one of the tables, pulling my phone out. Daichi texted me back.

/#\

Daichi; Good luck with classes, I love you. ❤️

Suga; I love you too. You busy?

/#\

Seconds after that text was sent and opened, my phone was ringing.

"Hey. I miss you." I answered.

"I miss you too, Koshi. How was class?"

"Not bad. Pretty boring. I have my last class for the day in about forty five minutes."

"Fun. How was last night?"

"Kuroo texted?" I asked.

"Him, Bo, and Asahi all did." He admitted. Those fuckers.

"It was...rough. I'm getting better at handling it myself though. I almost did it. It's when the pain starts getting physical, and my arms feel like they're on fire, where I'm struggling. I did it safely though, I didn't relapse." I said with a small smile. I try to look at the small wins. Even the smallest things help me to keep pushing.

"I'm proud of you, Koshi. Oh, this weekend, are you busy?"

"Nope."

"Good. I'm gonna pick you up on Saturday around four, we're gonna go get dinner, and then I have a cake tasting set up. We're gonna start looking for a cake and we can do more planning if you'd like."

"That sounds amazing." I smiled.

"Good. I gotta go, my next class is gonna start here soon. I love you, stay safe."

"I love you too. Talk to you soon." I said, and the line went dead. That lonely feeling I felt last night was back, but it wasn't nearly as strong. I'm not sure this is the safest spot for me to try this, but I'll miss the opportunity if I don't.

So, I threw some earbuds in and searched for a song on my Spotify. What It's Like To Be Lonely by Tyler Ward is what I eventually fell on. I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and listened.

By the time the song ended, I was able to pull out my notebook and write out descriptors and try and explain what I was feeling.

Lonely

Alone

Sad / Depressed

Empty?