DISTRESS

CHAPTER 40

It hurts.

It's cold.

It's dark.

Everytime I try to go back that's all I feel. It keeps pushing me back down and the feeling gets worse everytime I keep fighting the invisible force that is keeping me chained down.

'Dawn!' I heard a voice call my name in this dark abyss but whenever I try to search and follow it. There was nothing. It's like it keeps fading away and it's driving me crazy. I want to get out of here but at the same time I don't want to.

Am I running away from something? I can't seem to remember anything. The only thing I can feel is endless pain, sorrow, grief, emptiness and loneliness. Are these the only things I feel? Is this why my body and subconsciousness refuses to let me out? If so, then I don't think I would want to get back when it causes me nothing but pain and suffering.

My body is trying to protect me from that so maybe I should just stay here, away from everything that's hurting me. Yet why does my heart aches? It's like this is the only one that's contradicting both my body and mind. Why is it hurting? Why do I feel like I've lost something? And that's the problem I can't remember a single thing, if I indeed lost something or....someone.

No matter how hard I rack my brain to remember, nothing comes up. I don't understand. I feel like something is blocking me from remembering everything. Is my subconsciousness doing this? Now I'm more confused than ever. I feel like I'm missing something. If only I could remember it. I know I said that I was fine with my situation but when my heart ached it immediately made me change my mind.

I want to remember.

I want to get out of here.

'Dawn!' there's that voice again calling my name. I spun around trying to pinpoint where the sound is coming from but it feels like it's echoing everywhere. I ran in the darkness not exactly sure where I'm going. All I know is that I need to find the one who is calling me. I don't care if I'll end up chasing it in circles. I need to try.

'Dawn!!' the voice it starting to get louder. I stopped and glance to my left then to my right. Where is it coming from? I ran again while glancing from side to side. I started panting from running but I didn't stop. I need to find it. I might lose it if I try to stop now.

I ran and ran but I still found nothing. Even the voice stopped calling. What am I going to do now? I tried to calm myself down as I took deep breaths. Now that the voice disappeared that doesn't mean I'll stop trying to get out of here. I can't simply wait for that voice to call me again. I need to find a way out myself. I tried forcing myself to wake up but I was immediately overwhelmed by excruciating pain causing my body to shake. I fell on one knee, embracing myself, my breath shaking. That felt horrible.

No!! I just need to calm down and try again. If I keep succumbing in the pain, I'll never be able to wake up and get out of here. I need to try and try until I get out of this place. This is not what I want.

Once again I tried to break free. Instantly my body is filled with excruciating and tremendous pain but this time I didn't stop. I need to fight it. I keep pushing myself out even though the pain keeps increasing.

I need to wake up.

With a scream, I gave all my strength to break free and the once dark surroundings I was in, immediately turned bright and memories flooded my head like a landslide.

My legs buckled and I fell on my knees as I desperately gasp for air. This feels awful. It's like my entire body is screaming pain and my insides feel like they're burning. My hand unconsciously held my shoulder where I was stabbed by that good for nothing bastard. He's the reason why this happened to me. He's the reason of all my sufferings.