That Playgirl's Karma [Under Revision]

n i n e

I don't know what went wrong.. I just woke up not remembering anything, I was eight years of age that time.. I woke up lying on a hospital bed, full of syringe in my body.

I can't remember anything I only felt a hatred inside me but I don't know why.

I started being stubborn to my dad. I refused everything they want for me, I became a headache to my father, a witch to my stepsister and an evil to my stepmom.

At the age of sixteen, I decided to be a rebel.. three nights or a week of not going home until I decided to live with my own, where they can't see my existence, that's when I decided to make shit to other people... I became a playgirl, I play their hearts, I felt happy that time, I was happy hurting them, thinking the pain I have will be lessen but because of a one incident, that's when I realized.. the pain never left me, it became higher and deeper.. shallower and darker.

I became depressed, I don't know who I can talk to, I don't know who I can run to.

I am messed up.

Suddenly, I saw a light, a white ceiling and a.. dextrose.

"You're awake."

I turned my gaze at my side, a guy wearing black was sitting beside me. Seconds later, a doctor went near me and checked my eyes.

What does this mean..?

I am.. alive?

"Azalea? Can you hear me?"

Binaling ko ang aking tingin sa lalakeng katabi ko ngayon, naramdaman ko ang paghawak niya sa kamay ko at hinimas-himas ito. Medyo malabo ang paningin ko kaya't hindi ko nakikita kung sino siya, pero namumukhaan ko ang boses niya.

"Felix..?"

Naramdaman kong hinawi niya ang buhok sa mukha ko, "Yes, it's me. Matulog ka muna, you still need more strength."

Kusang pumikit ang mga mata ko at hanggang sa nakatulog na nga ako.

Hindi ko na alam ilang oras akong tulog dahil pagising ko ay nasa gilid ko si Felix habang nakayuko at natutulog.

Paanong pagising ko ay nandito na ako sa hospital, ang akala ko nga ay nasa impyerno na ako pero heto ako ngayon, nakahiga sa isa sa hospital bed.

Napapikit ako nang maalala ang mga huling ginawa ko.

Nagawa kong patayin ang sarili ko kahit labag iyon, hindi man lang ako natakot.

Hinawi ko ang luhang kusang pumatak sa mata ko. Hindi na rin napigilang tumulo ang sipon ko kaya hinawi ko ito pero hindi ko sinasadyang magalaw si Felix kaya nagising siya.

Kinusot niya ang kaniyang mata at medyo magulo rin ang kaniyang buhok.

"What are you feeling now?" He asked, giving me a worried look.

I nodded as I looked away.

I can't look at him, I felt the shame running down my system.

"Azalea," pero nang tawagin niya ako ay wala na akong magawa kun'di tumingin sa kaniya. Mula sa mesa sa tabi niya ay kumuha siya ng isang orange at binalatan ito. "I am not in the place to ask you this but.." he stopped from peeling the fruit and then he looked at me.

"I will listen."

He then continued peeling the fruit but here I am.. his words kept on lingering in my mind. I felt a liquid that is about to burst out of my eyes but I stopped it, I nibbled my lips to stop it.

"You can cry, Azalea."

When he said those, that's when I burst out crying. Using my two palms, I kept on wiping the tears away but it kept on falling.. and falling.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but his words were like a controller, when he said he will listen to me.. I get emotional and when he said I can cry.. I cried.

Natuyo na rin ang mga luha sa mata ko at kasalukuyan kong nginunguya ang prutas. Alas dos na ng umaga, ang sabi ni Felix ay dinala niya ako sa ospital kaninang alas onse ng gabi.

Nasa loob siya ng banyo ngayon at naghuhugas ng kamay, gusto ko sanang pagbalik niya ay tatanungin ko siya kung paano niya ako nahanap dahil hindi ko sinabi sa kaniya kung nasaan ako nakatira.

"Ang sabi ng doktor pwede ka nang ma-discharge mamaya." Ani Felix nang makalabas sa banyo. Lumapit siya sa akin at inayos ang kumot sa paanan ko.

I took a deep breath before asking him, "Felix,"

He looked at me while his hands are working on the blanket.

"I.. didn't told you about where I live, so how did you find me?"

He stopped from what he was doing and he went to his bag. Kinuha niya sa kaniyang bag ang isang cellphone at lumapit sa akin.

"Here," he let me hold his phone and so I did.

There's a somewhat like a radar on the screen.

"I know this may sound creepy for you but no, I am not. When you called the number I gave you, your location automatically turned on that's why I can locate you that time."

Does he mean that he can locate anywhere I go If I call him? 'Cause when I called him—accidentally—he went to my location to help me, because that's what he said when he gave me his number.

I gave him his phone and felt a shame 'cause I tried to kill myself but I called him for help.

"I am so sorry for spending your time in this nonsense incident—" I apologised but he cut me off.

"Nonsense?" His forehead creased as he looked at me. "Do you think what happened to you is nonsense?" The tone of his voice changed, it is my first time hearing it.

"Uhh.."

"That incident is not a nonsense, it is a serious matter that we need to fight for, Azalea."

Did he just say.. we? He meant it?

His eyes stared at me and held my hands that creates hundreds of questions in my head but at the same time.. a feeling of existence suddenly filled my body.

A feeling that someone cared for me.

"I'll fight with you, Azalea."