1 and 0nly (SVT one shots)

For Their Sake (SeokSoo)🔞Part 2

In the months since then, Jisoo has been nothing but kind and courteous. The arrangement that both companies had agreed upon was that the newlyweds would spend eight months together, alone, free from any duties. There was a lovely simple house not far from the rest of the complex, surrounded by a thrush of bamboo.

Every day, they wake up together. They eat together . Jisoo likes to go on walks, so Seokmin accompanies him on quiet strolls through the bamboo forest or lively mornings through the town. Jisoo also likes to write poetry, so he writes and Seokmin watches his expert brushwork on the paper. He brings Seokmin fresh flowers, peels fruits for him after lunch and dinner. Every night, they sleep in the same bed, under soft silken sheets. Jisoo smiles at him, says, Good night, Min, and then he turns on his side and goes to sleep. He's a gentleman, he's perfectly perfect.

It makes Seokmin want to tear his hair out.

Its on one such night that Seokmin snaps. Whatever control that was still hanging on by a tenuous thread suddenly vanishes into thin air, and he sits up in their shared bed after a long day of poetry . Jisoo seems to feel the bed shift and turns back around to look at him, confused.

Is it me? Seokmin says bluntly.

What? Jisoo blinks. He sits up. Moves closer to see Seokmin's face, because its dark in the room with only the moon casting any light. At this distance, he can finally see his husband frown.

Is it me, I said, Seokmin says again, this time growing more short tempered. Jisoo, weve been married for almost two months now.

Yes, Jisoo says, not only confused but cautious now. That is true.

Then how come, Seokmin snaps, you havent even tried to have sex with me once?

No answer. Seokmin flushes, his bravado faltering. Shame creeps into his shoulders and he wants to duck beneath the blankets again.

No, Seokmin, he tells himself, you are not going to do that. Face bright red, he continues:

All you ever do is read me poetry and take care of me and — I — its — sweet. But its been two months and we didnt even have sex on our wedding night and you dont kiss me, you never even try to touch me, and — and I just — I mean, is it me? A tiny voice thats been there as long as he can remember mocks him — is it me? — before it laughs meanly. Seokmin almost misses Jisoos quiet breath.

No, its not you, he says softly. Well

Seokmin looks at him, feeling worked up and a bit angry and vulnerable all at once.

Min, the only reason I havent touched you is because I didnt know if you wanted me to.

Seokmin balks at that.

Wh-what do you mean? We were supposed to have sex on our wedding night and we didnt even do that! And weve been sleeping together every night since, youve had plenty of chances—

Min, Jisoo interrupts gently, you were trembling like a leaf that night. Forgive me if I thought you werent interested.

Seokmin scowls. I was nervous!

Then, courage building again, he continues despite his burning face: Were — youre my husband. Were — you know — were supposed to be having sex right now. We were supposed to consummate our marriage on our wedding night.

Were not supposed to do anything, Min, Jisoo corrects him, not unkindly.

Seokmin swallows. Is this a rejection? Is he being rejected right now, by his own husband?

I dont want to lay with you because you think thats what were meant to do, Jisoo says, a very beautiful frown on his face. Seokmin gnaws his lip. I only want to do this if you want to do this, Min. Do you want to do this?

Do you want to do this? Do you want to do this? The question echoes in his head, bouncing off the corners and fading into thin air, settling into his bones. When was the last time someone asked him what he really wanted? Seokmin doesnt know where to even begin.

...Yes, he finally says. Jisoo doesnt look convinced.

Really, Jisoo says, voice a tad dry.

Yes! Seokmin snaps, bordering on huffy. Ive wanted to do this for weeks now, please stop making me say embarrassing things!

I didnt know that, his perfect husband says with a perfect smile, wry and clever and too elegant to be outright sly.

A long, awkward silence stretches on. Seokmin wants to say, fuck it, nevermind, forget we ever talked about this and resign himself to a life of monkhood, courtesy of his husband who will never touch him.

But then Jisoo adds, You know, youre not very good at communicating. Or expressing what you want. At Seokmins protest, he says, I think Im allowed to say that, after being your husband for two months.

Seokmin stammers and grips the sheets in his fists angrily — embarrassedly. I — what the hell are you talking about?

For example, Jisoo says, I always peel tangerine for you after lunch. Youve never asked for tangerine. But still every day I peel them, and you eat them all, and once theyre all gone you seem surprised, like you want more. Thats why I know you love tangerine. Not because you say you do, or because you ask for them.

Seokmin opens his mouth. Closes it. Hes going to die a tragically young death of mortification, it seems, because Jisoo is still not finished.

And when we went to shops, I see you eyeing the fruit stands, but you never asked me to buy any for you. I know you like beautiful craftsmanship, too, because of the way you always linger at those shops.

I have my own money, Seokmin insists. I was going to buy it myself—

But Im your husband, Min, and I like to do nice things for you and make you happy. You need only ask.

At some point Seokmin does find himself under the covers again, blanket pulled up only to his chest and not covering his entire face because he is an adult, damn it, and he will not hide from his husband. His ears burn thinking about their town trip, realizing every time Jisoo had swooped in and bought something for him, or asked him what he wanted to eat, or asked him if he liked a little trinket or talisman — so he was watching Seokmin the whole time, then. Seokmin feels his palms getting sweaty.

Perhaps I should be more clear myself. Jisoo looks him squarely in the eye. I like you very much, Min. I would like to spoil you in all the ways that a husband should. Wont you let me?

It becomes this tense thing between them. It shouldnt be a heavy question, but to Seokmin, whose self-doubt has been scratched along his skin so deeply its made its way to his core, the question feels like a boulder weighing against his chest.

I suppose, he says in a small voice.

Jisoo smiles gently at him. The weight is lifted.

Then, husband, tell me what you want. And I will give you everything.