Zedayah

Chapter 21- I mean it

I am standing outside her room now while leaning on her door. I can hear her sobs and I think I was a bit harsh earlier. I just regained my memories of that night and I'm really ashame of myself. I took advange of her knowing that she won't fight back and even laid my hands on her. Although I didn't meant to kissed her that time but everything I said was true. I said those words because that's how I really felt.

When I first met her during the entrance ceremony she already got my attention. She's the first woman who dared to looked me in the eyes. The blank eyes and poker face of hers made me curious about her. I never intended to approach her but I found myself interested to her.I approached her when I found out that she's a rare genius but that was just an excuse.

I keep telling myself that I approached her because she's inteligent but it's a lie. It just an excuse made by my ego. Why would I bring her home if I only want her inteligence? Why did I secretly cast a surveilance spell on her? Why did I keep thinking about her? I don't know why. I can't understand myself too. All I know is that the more I'm trying to avoid her the more I keep thinking of her.

I don't know why I kissed her but I know that my inner self did that because he wanted to. He meant everything he said but the sober me can't accept it. The fact that the my Inner self made a move on her it means I'm really harboring immoral thought inside me. For god sake, I'm far older tha her and can even  consider as her great ancestors. How could I harbor such feelings?

I don't want to accept it but it doesn't mean it didn't happened. The words I said to her wall all sincere but I don't want to mislead her and misunderstand me so I cover it with my lies. I'm a monster and she's fragile human, one wrong move I might do something I'll regret later.

But even so, I never mean to make cry like this. I don't want to hurt her that's why I said those harsh words to her. Maybe I could stop my inner self for coveting her if I push her away. I doesn't matter if she hates me or not because a romantic affair of an Elf and humans doesn't have a future anyway. It's better to stop now than keep hurting her later.

.....

In the next day, I woke up early to check on her but she's gone. She only left a note with my breakfast.

"Good morning Sir, I left first because I need to prepare in our finals. Please eat breakfast before leaving. See you later"

Heh.. I don't know if she's really fine now since human emotions are unpredictable but I hope she's doing well.

I went in the capital after breakfast. In five days there will be a masquerade ball in the academy. I need to prepare suit for me because the nobles around the continent will be attending as well. I also need to buy a ball gown for Zedayah.

I visited all the botiques here just to find the best gown for her. I hope she'll like it but I don't know how wiil I give it to her. Oh I'll just give it as apology.

I went home after purchasing. I put them on her bedroom and left a note. I head to the school to teach children and I'm losing it. For the first time in my life my mind is wondering around while teaching.

Brixton in in the back staring at me-

"Uncle I'll be her partner in the ball"

He wisphered but I just ignored him. My blood preasure seems rising up. I siddenly remembered the hickey he left on Zedayah last night. Although I didn't saw him myself I knew it was from him. He even covered her with his pheromones, he's telling me to back off huh? There's no way I allow her to date anyone now, she can't even take care of herself and her innocence makes my blood boil. How could she let this brat kissed her?

He'ss not listening in my class at all, he's just pissing me off. I would have send him in the dark continent if only he's not my brother's son. He's really irritating me.

.....

I left home and went to school early  because my eyes are swollen. I don't want to show my ugly face to Sir that's why I just made up such a ridiculous excuse.

When I got in our classroom my friends are already there and Brix is also here. He's somehow different than usual but he's still noisy. He brought candies and flowers again then asked me to become his partner in the ball. I don't want to go but my friends are excited to go with me so I'll go. Brix keep asking me so I just agreed. He won't leave me alone if I reject him anyway and it's better to go with him that coming without a partner. It's masquerade ball and  the people won't recognize me because of the mask.

"Why are you so down today?" Jena asked. We're having lunch in the canteen now. The seniors won't be joining us cause they're having outdoor activity right now.

"I'm just affected in the novel"

"What happened?" They asked and compressed to me like waiting for exclusive gossip.

"The main character had a friend. Her freind had a close male friend and way older than her. She respects him more than anyone and their living together because of business"

"Then what happened next?"

"They've been doing well but everything changed because of a single night"

"And then?"

"She was drunk when she went home and she sober up when she found herself sleeping in his arms-

"Kiyaaaa!! And then?"

"Let's say that the man was drunk too and he's not on his right mind. He refused to let her go when she tried to go"

"And??" they're so excited that ther might forget to chew their foods.

"He kissed her and she also kissed him back-

"So they kissed!! Did they sleep together?" Jhena asked and I nodded. Since I indeed sleep with Sir for two nights actually. I think I accidentaly made up the story from my experience...

"Then what happened? Did he take responsibility? Commitment or level up?" They excitedly asked but I shaked my head.

"When he remember everything happened that night... He appologize and took back his words..he said it's just an empty words and he never want to kiss her"

My heart suddenly feels heavy. I want to cry but I can't...

"What a garbage!!" Jena said so I feel mad.

"He's not a garbage! He's very kind and the girl already know that it's wrong but she just let it be. So partially her fault!" Oh my, I got mad because I don't like it if someone misunderstood Sir and judge him because of me.

"He's so kind, he will put himself in the line just to help her, he believed in her when no one acknowlaged her, he took her in when she had nothing, he embraced me when I was sick, he carry me when my legs hurt and wash my feet without a second thought sniff sniff he's not a bad person so don't judge him carelessly hi  hic hic"

I don't know anymore but the more I talk the more my heart aches. Just why am I being like this?

To be continued.