Second Guesses, Second Chances

Chapter 9

Tori

Although her body is cold, there's a certain kind of warmth in the way Jade hugs me. The way she puts her arms around me makes me feel safe, and for the first time today, I feel like I can finally relax. So I do and lean into her, holding onto her as tightly as I can because I don't want this moment between us to end. I give her a little squeeze as another 'thank-you', and to tell her how proud I am of her for opening up to me, and I wonder if it's possible to die from happiness as I feel her squeeze back. It's such a small gesture, but the fact that she even does it tells me that she forgives me, even if she can't say it right now.

As we pull away from each other, I notice a softness in her eyes that used to be reserved for Beck only, as if I actually mean something to her. Seeing her direct it at me makes my heart race slightly as the only expression she's given me up until now was one of utter contempt. I turn to open her front door and see Trina coming up the driveway.

"Let me know when you get home, okay?" The goth says, the softness still present in the way she speaks to me. I feel myself start to grin as I step outside.

"Will do," I reply. "Goodnight Jade."

"G'night, Tori," Jade says, slowly smiling back. As I head towards Trina's car, I quickly turn my head to steal one last glance at Jade, her soft smile widening slightly as our eyes meet. My heart begins to race again, and I quickly look away as I reach the car, feeling like I might burst with joy. Although it's getting a little late, I've never felt more alive! If there's one good thing to come out of today, it's knowing that Jade West still cares about me. No amount of stress from today or crap from Beck can weigh me down! As I get into the car, I watch Jade turn around to go back inside, closing the door behind her.

"Oh my god, Tori! Are you alright? What happened in there? Did she hurt you?" My sister asks in a frenzy as I get into the car.

"I'm fine, Trina," I chuckle, shaking my head slightly. "Let's just go home." As much as my sister annoys me, I appreciate the fact that she always has my back. As we drive through Hollywood Hills, I feel my good mood begin to fade as I stare out the window, wondering how I'm going to deal with Beck tomorrow. Every bone in my body is telling me to get rid of him, to stop wasting my time and put him behind me, but for some reason, there's something inside of me that's fighting back. Maybe it's the fact that I forgive too easily, or because I try to see the good in everyone, but there's a tiny part of my brain that tells me that I can still make him happy if I just try hard enough.

I simply sigh and sit back into the seat and frown a little, feeling increasingly frustrated as I try to rationalize my way through this. I remember what Jade said, and how Beck treated her horribly. I think about what he's doing to me now, and realize that she's right, at least he's not only flirting with other girls right in front of me. I mean, the fact that he's neglecting me isn't great, but going from borderline cheating to just plain ignorance is an improvement, right? Right?

With enough time and hard work, Beck and I will be on the right track again, and everything will be as it should be. Jade and I will remain on good terms, and Beck and I will go back to being the most loving, happiest couple in Hollywood Arts again. I know it sounds crazy to think this way, but I'm sure everything will be fine! I mean, there's a part of me that never gave up on Jade for goodness sake, and look at where we are now; She and I are no longer enemies! Sure, it took a lot of time and patience to finally convince her that I'm not a total freak, but I'm happy with the progress she and I have made, so it's not like staying around to fix a relationship hasn't worked out for me, not yet, at least.

Trina and I arrive back at our house. It's just past 10:30. As I go upstairs to get ready for bed, Trina stays down in the kitchen and takes a jug of some kind of pinkish-orange-ish-looking juice out of the fridge. She pours some of the juice into a bowl and takes a clean dishcloth from under the sink.