Second Guesses, Second Chances

Chapter 11

Tori

I thought he loved me...

The heaviness in my chest is devastating as I bury my face into my hands, my whole body trembling as I try to stifle my sobs. In just a few short hours, everything I've waited so long for, worked so hard for, has come crashing down in front of me, and I'm left to pick up the pieces all on my own.

"There there, Tori," Cat says, as she sits next to me. She pats me on the back and gives me a hug. "Don't cry! Everything's gonna be okay! Y'know, one time, my brother..." her voice trails off as she realizes that what she's saying isn't exactly helpful. I know the little redhead wants to help me feel better, and I appreciate her intentions, but her words do little to cheer me up, if anything at all. It's going to take a lot more than a few platitudes and a funny story to fix how utterly broken I feel inside. My face remains buried in my hands as tears stream down my face. Suddenly, I hear Cat's phone buzz. The little redhead lets go of me to see who texted her.

"Jade's on her way over," she chirps, before giving me another hug. I lean into my little friend, grateful to have at least one person who still cares about me. As we sit together, a large cloud of shame and guilt looms over me, casting a shadow on the remains of my already shattered heart. Knowing Jade's coming over somehow makes me feel worse. She tried to warn me about Beck's shady behaviour, but I completely brushed her off like she was a crazy person! I'm not sure I can face her after that.

I don't know how much time passes, but both Cat and I jump up, startled at the sound of a certain goth bursting through my bedroom door. I keep my face hidden as she sits next to me and puts her arm around me. She mutters something to Cat, and the little readhead leaves us alone. The minutes that follow are filled with silence, which only makes my fears about facing the girl next to me grow, my head starting to spin as I try to figure out what to do next.

C'mon Tori, you have to say something to her! I know it's scary, I know she's scary, but she came here to try and help you feel better! The very least you could do is thank her and tell her she was right...

After a few more minutes of arguing with myself, I take a deep breath and decide to bite the bullet.

"You were right, Jade..." I start, as I look up at her. My voice trails off and my eyes widen, my anxieties about facing her replaced with new worries as I see what kind of condition she's in. Her nose is extremely bloody, her face is battered and bruised. I can see traces of blood on her knuckles and boots and I shudder a little, unsettled and curious to know what happened between her and Beck before she arrived at my house. "Oh my god, Jade! What happened to you?!"

That's not important right now," She replies. "What's important right now is that you worry about yourself. You're hurting much more than I am right now, and it's not a good idea to try and help someone else when you're having trouble helping yourself." I want to argue and make sure that she's okay, but I just don't have the energy for it, so I simply nod and put my head back down without a word. The goth keeps her arm around me and rubs slow circles into my back, just as she did last night. I lean into her and rest my head on her shoulder as I feel more tears begin to well up, my chest sinking again as my thoughts go back to Beck.

Suddenly, I feel a pair of cool lips brush up against my forehead. They only linger for a few seconds, but knowing who they belong to and how gentle they are immediately pulls my attention away from my current dilemma. Sure, Jade has kissed me plenty of times for our little performance for Sikowtiz's class, but this one feels different. Unlike her kisses for class, this one is soft, tender, even. This one feels real .

I sit up and look at her to ask her what the kiss meant, but she doesn't say anything. Instead she gives me a gentle smirk, that softness she rarely shows to anyone on full display for me. The question burning through my head just moments before quickly disappears as I realize that this is Jade's way of telling me that she's here for me. As much as I find it odd for her to do something like that at a time like this, I also find it incredibly comforting.