Never Cared For What They Say {Kirk Hammett}

One

,,I can't remember anything, Can't tell if this is true or a dream, Deep down inside I feel to scream, This terrible silence stops me.'' -One Metallica

San Francisco

Audelia's POV:

Fucked up, that's how I'd describe my life right now if you asked me, fucked up, like shit, depressed whatever bad thing that's my life since Cliff died. What about Kirk you may ask. And there's only one answer: No fucking idea. We barely talked, slept in different beds, and even ate separately. Hell the only time we talked was when we were fighting, and it's safe to say, the only reason we're still together is our daughter Aurora, I'd go as far as even saying she's the only reason I'm alive.

I sighed getting up from the couch, the couch where I've been sleeping on the past year and a half. I slowly looked out the window, the sun was shining brightly illuminating the entire living room.

Out there was Kirk, playing with Rory smiling with those cute dimples that were to die for. If only that smile would've been meant for me. But it wasn't the only time he smiled was with Rory. I don't even remember the last time he laughed in my presence, hell I don't even remember the last time I saw those dimples.

I slowly opened the door walking towards the duo, the warm feeling of the sand embracing my bare feet, I took a deep breath and opened my mouth. ,,Kirk sorry but ehm we should go the new bassist a-'' ,,I know'' He interrupted me coldly his smile dropping instantly as he placed Rory down, she quickly looked between me and Kirk not understanding what was going on.

Pang my heart shattered a little more, like every day. I miss the way he used to look at me, with pure love, happiness, and excitement in his gaze like I was the only woman in the world. Now his eyes were empty, not one little sight of the emotions that used to be so clear on his face. Cold, uninterested, full of pity like I was just another burden in his life that's how he looks at me now, that's how he looks at me every day.

The promise we made to each other that we'd get through this together and stay strong was just an empty promise now, just words without meaning. I slowly touched the golden diamond ring on my finger that used to resemble commitment and a promise Kirk and I made to each other: love but now it was just a ring, another piece of jewelry that I simply wore every day, afraid to take it off. The same question burning in my heart like always : What about us? What will happen? Does he still love me? Do I even deserve to be loved?

,,You coming or you just standing there?'' Kirk asked me coldly, snapping me out of my stupid thoughts. He slowly raised his hand which used to be deeply buried in his jean pocket holding it out for my shoulder, only to drop it before reaching my cold shoulder placing it back in his pocket, and walking towards the car leaving me alone with my thoughts.

,,Momma?'' Rory asked, as I slowly wiped a hand over my eyes, feeling them water up again, the usual. ,,Yes Angel?'' I answered, trying to keep my voice from breaking, as I slowly scooped my toddler up, she was three now, reminding me how fast time flies by. Her dark curly hair perfectly reached her shoulders. Her olive skin that she got from her dad, she looked like a mini Kirk, the only thing she got from me were my blue eyes, with whom she looked at me right now as I waited for her question.

,,What's going on between you and Dada?'' Snap I felt like that was it, the question stinging in my heart like I'd just burned myself with hot oil. The question I was afraid to answer, it was the question I myself didn't even know the answer to. and the question that showed me, despite all our tries to act fine in front of Rory, we were failing, miserably failing.