Cole & Jamie

Chapter 30

    The drive to the airport was dead silent.

    Cole and I got into our fair share of fights growing up, usually over something petty that would balloon into a week-long battle before we finally made up. The silent treatment was always my go-to line of defense back then, but this wasn't some petty argument over who gets the front seat, and sooner, rather than later, I would have to talk to him.

Our driver pulled right onto the tarmac, parking close to our awaiting plane. The private jet experience was underwhelming this time around. We boarded a much smaller plane, leaving us with few options for seating. I had no choice but to sit directly in front of him.

The single flight attendant delivered two glasses of water silently. I reckon even she could sense the tension between us.

"Are you going to ignore me the whole way?" Cole asked once we were in the air.

I didn't admit that I had fully planned to. "No, I was just thinking."

Facing him, I said confidently, "I need to know everything," I told him.

"About me and Bella?"

I nodded, might as well rip the bandaid off now while we're in the air.  "Yes. You don't have to, but I don't think we can move forward if I don't know." It would kill me not knowing, and I'd never fully be able to trust him again.

"I understand. I'll tell you." He unbuckled his seat belt getting more comfortable. "Bella and I met at a party two years ago, our managers introduced us. I didn't think much of it, he introduced me to a lot of people, but then he kept bringing her up several weeks after. Back then I had so much on my mind, it didn't even register that he was trying to set us up."

"Now that I say it out loud I feel like an idiot for not realizing what they were doing sooner." He shook his head. "Anyway, a few weeks later I get called into a meeting and she was there with her manager. Even then, I just thought she was trying to launch a music career or something. It wouldn't be the first time a model or actress wanted to use my name to validate her mediocre music career."

"The deal was we were supposed to be seen together for a few months to drum up some press for her. She was big enough on her own, I don't know why she needed me."

The reason was very simple to me; they looked good together. It was an easy match up, he was pretty and so was she, paparazzi would get great pictures out of them. "So none of it was real?"

"It wasn't supposed to be, the agreement was that in private we could lead our normal lives. I could continue seeing whoever I wanted and so could she, as long as we looked and acted like a couple in public. You know keep the rumor mill going."

I chewed my bottom lip, all of this turning my stomach. Obviously, I knew things like this happened in the entertainment industry, but hearing the ends and outs of it made so plain put a bad taste in my mouth.

Cole went on, "That got hard, for both of us, and eventually we both gave up." He scrubbed his hand down his face. "We had gotten to know each other pretty well by then. I'd have to see her several times a week for lunches, and dinners, or whatever event she had been invited to. I liked talking to her, she was nice and smarter than a lot of people gave her credit for, forgetting the original agreement was easy for a little while.

This was my fault," he admitted. "Even when we started..." he cleared his throat looking out the window. "When we became more intimate, I should have told her that I wasn't looking for anything more serious than what we were already doing."

Jackson's words from earlier played in my mind, "The lines get blurry when people start sleeping together." It was so hard for me to wrap my brain around. "Did you not think that things were getting serious when you started living together?"

"I can't say I did. She wasn't the first woman to spend the night and never leave."

"Wow." You could almost laugh at how clueless men always prove themselves to be if it wasn't so damn sad.

Embarrassed, Cole blushed as he continued his story. "I should have broken things off as soon as I decided to move back to Mckenzie. Stupidly I thought that telling her I was moving would do the trick for me. Obviously, I was wrong."

"You think?" 

"Jamie, I know how this all looks and sounds. I'm the asshole here, but I want you to know I would never do this to you.  I'm all in this. There's no one else, there's not going to be anyone else, I only want to be with you."

"How do I know that?"
"Because I'm telling you."
You had an entire relationship with this person knowing you weren't going to be with them and didnt say a word. What's stopping you from doing the same to me?"
"I would never." Suddenly he got down on his knees in front of me grabbing both of my hands. "I swear, Jamie, if you give me a second chance I'll prove it to you."
"You're going to have to." Because I was more than willing to compromise on some things to make our relationship work but cheating wasn't one of them. "If I can't trust you then this is never going to work."
"I'll do anything," he assured. "You name it, I'll do it. I swear."
"Honesty and Transparency is all I'm asking for." It was hard to keep my composure while looking at him, but I wanted him to know how serious I was. "There won't be a third chance. If something like this ever happens again I will leave you."
He nodded. "I understand." Cole looked me deep in my eyes, asking, begging, "Give me a chance to show you?"
I prayed he couldn't feel how fast my pulse was racing. "Okay," I sighed. "Okay, yes."
He surged forward kissing me breathlessly. "I love you. I love you. I love you," he chanted as he peppered kisses over my face.

I laughed as Cole squeezed me close. I placed a hand to his cheek. "No more surprises."
"No more surprises," he agreed.

This whole situation has been a major eye opener for me. There's so much about the both of us that has stayed the same over the years, but there's even more that has changed, I would rather learn about those things now than ten more years from now.

"There's things you don't know about me either," I said, extending an olive branch. It was only fair that I share something after he spilled his guts about Bella to me. "I was engaged."

"It was right before I moved home, and it wasn't for very long." I hadn't told Cole anything about my relationship with Tony before this because it didn't seem to be an important issue. Now I think it would be best if I did share this with him. How can I ask him to share parts of his life with me without doing  the same for him?

"To Jackson?"

"What?" I cackled at even the thought. "Absolutely not. Jackson is gay and even if he wasn't we would kill each other. He is way too flirtatious."

"Oh, the two of you just seemed really close."

"We lived together for years before I moved in with my ex." What a massive mistake that turned out to be?

"What happened between the two of you?"

"We wanted different things. He wanted me to be Holly Housewife and I wanted a career of my own." That paired with the holier-than-thou attitude was enough to drive anyone away. "I couldn't settle for that, so I ended things and a month later I was back in McKenzie."

"He wasn't happy about it." The complete and total opposite in fact. His emotions swung from distraught to enraged so quickly that it made my head spin. Tony had always been so in control of his emotions while we were together, annoyingly so, but that facade completely vanished when I broke things off. He called so much the first few months after I moved I considered changing my phone number. He either got the hint that we were never getting back together or he started seeing someone else. I hope it was both. "I know he'll find someone better for him." 

Cole shook his head at that. "He'll regret not appreciating what he had while he had it. Trust me I know."

I toyed with his collar. "And how do you know so much?"

"Because I spent ten years looking for a woman just like you and could never find her."

"I guess I'm just one of one," I said jokingly, trying and failing not to be overwhelmed by his compliment. Unlike Tony Cole always has a way of showing me exactly how much he loves and cares about me. 

He smirked. "That you are, Jamie Nicole Anderson."