Cole & Jamie

Chapter 11

By the time I left Trish's, my mind was heavy with everything I had been told. Learning about the past rumors should have made me feel better but it only put me in a worse funk than I was in before. In an attempt to shake myself out of my bad mood, I decided to spend the rest of the night rotting on the couch. I had planned it perfectly, I was going to drink approximately three and a half hard seltzers, binge-watch Living Single, and eat an entire large pizza. I had already gotten started on the first two and the pizza is on its way.

I set my Truly can on the table with a heavy sigh. I wish he would call me. Or text me. Hell, he could even send me a letter. Anything that would let me know that I hadn't completely ruined any progress we have made over the last month. Even if he's not interested in me in a romantic sense I still want him in my life.

I brought my knees to my chest as I stared at my television. I should call him.

As I went to grab my phone off the table, there was a knock at my front door. My pizza. I dropped my phone back on the table and went to answer the door. I will call him after dinner.

Twenty-dollar bill in hand, I opened my front door expecting a teenager with a pizza box. The last person I expected to find on my doorstep was Cole.

 I cleared my throat before saying, "Are you delivering pizzas now?" 

"Uh, no, I just caught the delivery guy as I pulled in." He handed me the pizza box. "Can I come in?"

"Yes, yes, of course." I held the door open for him. Come in." Cole stepped over the threshold and my mind started going haywire. I was just about to call him but now that he's here I have no idea what to say.

I took a moment to collect myself as I locked the front door. Tucking my shoulders back, I turned to him with a smile. "Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm not." 

I clutched the pizza box against my stomach, shuffling uncomfortably from side to side. As we stood in my entryway I let my eyes roam across his body. He was dressed down in a hooded sweatshirt and jeans, but he still looked incredible. He always had a way of looking like he was minutes away from a photo shoot. I hated it. 

Especially now when I looked terrible. I wore a pair of Christmas pajama shorts and an oversized NYC t-shirt that was riddled with holes. My hair was thrown into a bun with my silk scarf tied around my edges, no make-up, and my socks didn't even match. Thankfully, Cole didn't seem to care. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened on Saturday." 

"Oh." We're just jumping right in. "Okay, I'm glad you stopped by I was going to call you about that." 

I can do this. I can do this.  I chanted to myself as I led us into my kitchen. It was better to just rip the bandaid off rather than to leave things the way they are. I set the pizza box on the counter before turning to him an apology already on my lips. 

"I'm sorry for kissing you," I apologized. Before he could say anything, I went on, "I shouldn't have forced myself on you. You gave me no indication that you wanted me to do that. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable," he muttered, chuckling to himself. Maybe I missed the moment I turned into a stand-up comedian but I was getting real tired of people laughing at me. 

"You're laughing at me." I frowned.

"I'm not laughing at you," he said, while still laughing. "I'm just—Jamie, I've been in love with you since the day I met you. The last thing that kiss did was make me uncomfortable."

"You're in love with me?" So Trish was right. And that means everyone has been letting me walk around like an idiot for the last twenty years. "You didn't kiss me back, and then you didn't call...I thought I had misread you."

Cole cradled my face in his hands, with a sigh. "I'm sorry for making you think you did anything wrong. When you kissed me I was surprised, and by the time my brain caught up with my mouth you were already gone. I wanted to give you some space before calling you. I hope three days was long enough."

"I thought you didn't want me," I admitted, softly. I was too embarrassed to admit any of the other wildly insecure things I had thought over the last few days.

"Oh, Jamie, I've always wanted you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" All this time we've spent apart, all those years we were together every single day and he never said a word. I can't say that I've always felt this way about Cole, but I know that if he would have said something back then I would have given us a chance.

"There were so many times I started to." He sighed resting his forehead against mine. "Do you remember that big snow storm we had when we were sixteen?"

I could feel my cheeks get warm at the memory of us sharing my bed. The night he gave me my first kiss. " I remember."

"I wanted so badly to tell you then, and then I chickened out."

"And then there was your graduation party. I wanted to admit everything to you, but you were going to New York and I didn't want to hold you back. I was such a mess then, I had no plans for the future. For all, I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life working at Harriet's."

"So you told me you didn't want to be my friend anymore instead." It all makes sense now. Why his mood changed so drastically that day. We were fine just hours before he told me all of those things.

"It ripped my heart out to see the way I hurt you, but I knew I didn't deserve you. And I probably still don't."

"You were always good enough for me. Always. I wish you would have told me then."

"You never suspected it at all?"

"Never." I shook my head in disbelief. "I guess I'm the only one. Trish called me dumb today." I was never going to hear the end of this, but I can't exactly blame her.

"Why?" he asked, still holding me.

"Because I told her that you weren't in love with me." I chewed on my bottom lip. "Now, I see that was a dumb thing to believe."

He hummed. We stood there for a minute quietly holding one another when he said "Kiss me again."

"Are you sure?"

This question made him laugh. "I just pronounced my lifelong love for you of course I'm sure."

I laughed. I guess it was pretty ridiculous to ask such a question after everything we just said. Standing on my tiptoes, I whispered, "Make sure to kiss me back this time."

I initiated it but it was no doubt that Cole was taking the lead this time. He kissed me with vigor crushing me to his chest. Unlike the first time, he gave me much more to work with. He kissed me like he's been waiting his whole life to do so, and I guess he has if everything he said was true.

I had no problem matching his energy. Moaning into his mouth, I plunged my fingers into his silky hair. By the time we pulled apart we were both out of breath, but I still wanted more. I gave him a few more light kisses on his swollen lips. "That was much better."

"Good," he chuckled. He brushed his nose against mine. "I will never miss an opportunity to kiss you again."

"Promise?" I asked, sweetly. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he lifts me up.

"Pinky promise." 

And there it is. I'm sure you were expecting something a little spicier but I have yet to master writing smut, so this is as good as it gets. I hope you all enjoyed it anyway. Love you guys. 

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