A Love To Remember

17.

Audrey's Pov

“Huy, bakit nandito ka?” biglang umupo sa tabi ko si Hanna at napatingin sa papel na hawak ko.

“Ha? Saan ba dapat ako?” sagot ko sakanya at agad itinago yung papel.

“Bakit ba lagi mo hawak 'yang papel na yan? Ano bang nakasulat?”

“Wala, message lang from someone.” palusot ko at nginitian siya.

“Okay. Anyway, bakit nga ba nandito ka? Hinahanap ka ni Haechi sa room natin eh.” sabi niya at ibinalin yung atensyon kung saan.

Nasa school field kasi ako since wala kami masyadong ginagawa. I decided to go out and get some fresh air kasi masyado na akong nasusuffocate sa room namin. I needed to breathe for a while.

“Bakit daw?”

“Sure kang part ka ng dance club? Ang sabi may meeting daw kayo ngayon kasi may upcoming school performance ulit kayo.” Hanna explained, couldn't believe I was outside and not with my club members.

“Bakit ba lagi nila kaming pinapaperform? Sila kaya sumayaw para maintindihan nila.” mahinang sagot ko at napabuntong hininga na lang.

“Ay bakit ba kasi sumali ka dun in the first place? If ayaw mo pala, sana hindi kana nag-audition.”

“Si Bada kasi...” ang ending din pala nitong conversation namin kay Bada pa rin.

“Anong meron kay Bada?”

“She's the one who encouraged me to join. I love dancing and performing in front of people. Bada brought me back where I belong.” I smiled bitterly.

“Kaya ba nagustuhan mo siya?”

“Isa sa mga rason kung bakit ko siya nagustuhan. She's just different and there are a lot of reasons to love her. Hmm maybe I expected too much, hoping she likes me too and depended on her so now I'm having a hard time picking myself up.” I admitted, reminiscing all the memories we've shared.

It was short, but beautiful and magical.

—

I lazily dragged myself to the studio, I could feel everyone's eyes while I was making my way. I expected this to happen since I and Bada were the topic the past few weeks—the sudden switched of her feelings intrigued them.

As I arrived and in front of the door, I softly knocked. I waited until Haechi opened the door. She welcomed me with a huge smile on her face and I did the same thing.

“Where have you been?” She whispered and hugged me.

“Nagpahangin lang.” I responded, hugging her back and we went inside together.

I went straight into my seat, didn't even look at anyone else while them? Of course staring at me. I already used to these kind of scenarios and all I can do is to ignore them.

“You are 20 minutes late.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yes.”

“Redlic, can we just continue the meeting and just let this go.” Haechi butted in.

“You keep tolerating her!” Redlic yelled at her.

“Since when? This is just the first time and I'm asking you if we can just let it go. That's not even hard to do, Redlic.” sagot ni Haechi sakanya.

“Tumigil na nga kayo! Para kayong bata.” awat ni Bada sa dalawa na ikinatahimik nila.

We continued the meeting and as Hanna said earlier, we're really having a performance again.

“Final na 'to ah. Bada and Audrey for the opening performance and—”

“Ano?”

“For our opening lang naman.”

“Bakit ngayon ko lang nalaman 'to?” tanong ni Bada sakanila habang ako, nakikinig lang.

“We asked you last time and you said okay kaya akala namin aware kana. Ayaw mo ba? Pwede namang si Haechi na lang pumalit.” sagot ni Ria sakanya habang nakaturo kay Haechi.

“I'm fine with it.” Haechi said, raising her hand.

“Audrey, okay lang bang si Haechi na lang—”

“I'll do it.” Bada cut her off at ayun edi settled na.

After our meeting, I and Bada were left in the studio to talk about our performance. I didn't talk, I just listened to her because I don't want her to make uncomfortable.

What happened and why did we end up like this? She acts like she doesn't know me anymore—a stranger. It hurts me a lot. I keep asking myself If I deserve this treatment or did I do something wrong? Why? Why do I need to feel shit by loving someone?

“Short performance lang naman yung gagawin natin so ako na lang gagawa ng choreo tapos bukas na tayo magstart.” explain ni Bada saakin.

“Okay.” I shortly replied.

“Ako na rin bahala sa music and you, you have to make sure na makakapunta ka ng practice.”

“Noted.”

“Bakit ka nga pala nalate kanina?” Bada asked me and I lifted up my face. Is she really asking me about that? I mean ngayon na lang tumagal yung conversation namin kaya medyo hindi ako makapaniwala.

“Ha? Ano kasi hmmm kumain ako.” I lied. I was too nervous to come up with a better excuse kaya ayan, kung anu-ano na lang sinasagot ko.

“For 20 minutes?” and finally nakita ko na ring siyang ngumiti. She smiled at me!

“Yes cause I forgot to have my breakfast.” kahit kailan talaga ang lame ng excuses ko.

“You should take care of yourself. Huwag ka masyadong mag-isip dyan and always remember to breathe.”

“Paano mo nasasabi saakin 'yan?” I laughed and shook my head.

“Huh?”

“Paano ko magagawa yan kung ayaw mong ibigay yung sagot na gusto kong malaman? You are demanding me to do something and you really think I'd able to do that? Bada, sagot mo lang yung hinihintay ko.” I said, staring at her as she averted her eyes off me.

I want to cherish this moment and not to ruin it kasi finally, nararamdaman ko na ulit si Bada kahit ngayon lang pero hindi eh, ang unfair niya talaga. When it comes to me, parang wala lang siyang pake at hinahayaan akong magsuffer alone.

“Since we're already done, let's wrap this up and go home.” pag-iiba niya sa usapan at kinuha yung gamit niya.

“Bakit ba ayaw mo akong sagutin ha?!  Nag-eenjoy kaba kapag nakikita mo akong hinahabol kita? Siguro ang saya saya mo tuwing nagmamakaawa ako sa harapan mo. Sabagay laking achievement din nun na may naghahabol sayo.” diretsahan kong sabi sakanya at tinitigan niya lang ako.

“What? Hindi 'yan totoo!”

“Eh bakit nga ayaw mong sagutin yung tanong ko? Gusto ko lang naman malaman kung may iba na ba or siya talaga yung nauna para hindi na ako umasa.”

Nakakatakot akong malaman yung totoo pero dun din naman punta nito malalaman at malalaman ko rin yung totoo—alam kong kapag dumating yung oras yun, kailangan ko nang tumigil.

“Audrey, umuwi kana. You look so tired and I really need to go home.” pag-iwas niya sa tanong ko at naglakad palayo.

“Huwag mo akong iwanan please.” I whispered as I watched her walk away from me and disappeared.