A Love To Remember

20.

Audrey's Pov

Isang linggo na rin ang lumipas after nang pag-uusap namin ni Bada. I decided to ignore her, her existence as if she's invisible. I'm still hurting, sad and miserable kahit ako naman talaga may gusto nito.

Lahat ng mga kaklase ko, nagtataka na rin sa mga ikinikilos ko. I chose to do the right thing and let Bada go kahit na mahirap.

“Sasabay kaba or magpapabili ka?” tanong ni Laine saakin at tinabihan ako. Anyways, I changed my seat away from Bada.

“Don't mind me.” matipid kong sagot at nginitian siya.

“Anong don't mind me? sabi ni Tita, hindi ka raw masyadong nagkakakain.” sermon niya saakin.

“Kahit kailan talaga...”

“Bibilhan na lang kita.” tumayo siya agad at mabilis na lumabas ng room namin.

I stayed inside our room, not minding everyone. Feeling ko nga bumabalik yung dating ako, ako na walang pakielam sa iba at sarili lang iniisip. Ganito naman kasi talaga ako not until Bada came into my life—sandaling umikot sakanya yung mundo ko at binago ito.

“Wala kang balak kumain?” tanong ni Jewel na napadaan sa harap ko at tinitigan ako.

“I had my breakfast earlier and I'm still full.” I responded and smiled a bit.

“Sus hindi kana sumasabay saamin.” Hanna pouted and bent down, staring at me.

“You sure you okay?” She added and I nodded.

“Yup! Sige na para makabalik agad kayo.” I said and slightly pushed them away kaya wala silang choice kundi lumabas na rin.

I was left alone in our room, everyone's having a good day but me? It's always a bad day and I have to deal with it every day which is so tiring. Instead of thinking of something, I decided to take a nap and brushed off all my worries.

—

I felt a hand on my head or should I say someone's brushing my hair? Argh maybe I was only dreaming. I hesitantly lifted up my head and was surprised to see Bada up close. As our eyes met, she suddenly passed by me and acted like nothing happened.

What the fuck is that? I sat down properly and quickly glanced at her. She's arranging her things and leaving? It's just our break time but why is she already coming home?

“Where—” before I could say a whole ass sentence, I had to stop myself.

Bada walks off and disappeared from my sight. The time is ticking, I can't wait to go home and lock myself inside my room. It becomes a part of my routine and I always find a comfort there.

(TIME SKIP)

“Sigurado kang hindi ka sasabay? I can walk you home.” tanong ni Laine habang abala sa pag-aayos ng gamit niya.

“I'm fine and stop worrying about me.” I laughed and did the same thing.

“Ay oo nga pala, malapit na prom natin!!!” Jewel excitedly said and Hanna started to scream out of her excitement too.

“Hala for sure magreready na mga boys para sa prom proposal nila. Ay alam niyo na ha? Kapag inaya kayo ni Drew, don't say 'yes' para ang ending ako ayain niya.” nakangiting sabi ni Hanna at pinaalalahanan kaming tatlo.

“As if namang type namin yun.” sagot ni Jewel kay Hanna at tinawanan siya.

“Pinapaalalahanan ko lang kayo para mapapili ko kayo if ever mangyari yun.”

“Pili na?”

“Distansya o ambulansya.” Hanna jokingly said. Well she has a crush on Drew kaya todo ang bakod niya sakanya.

“Drew is all yours.” I butted in and caught their attention.

“How about you? What if may umaya sayo?”

“I'm not going.” I responded.

“Hala oy?! Once in a lifetime lang 'to kaya sumama kana para rin makumpleto tayo.” nilapitan ako ni Jewel at humawak sa braso ko, convincing me to go.

“Pag-iisipan ko.” matipid kong sagot at napatingin kay Laine na nakatitig lang din saakin.

“Ayan oh si Laine. Kayong dalawa na lang magsama para hindi kana ma-lonely. Please, come and have fun with us.” pilit nila saakin.

“Fine, fine.” sagot ko para tumigil na sila kakakulit saakin.

After our long conversation, naghiwa-hiwalay na rin kami since uwian na namin at may kanya kanya kaming lakad. I asked my mom not to pick me up because I want to walk alone and clear up my mind.

While I was walking, a saw a familiar students. I could even recognize them from their backs. Alam kong si Bada yun at kasama niya si Iris. They look fine at nakikita ko ring tumatawa silang dalawa. Wow they look so good together and I envy her a lot.

I sometimes wish I were her.

Paano kaya if Bada and I ended up being together? ganyan din kaya kami kasaya? Kung ako lang sana nauna, baka ako yung kasama niya ngayon.

Ang dami kong what ifs and regrets. Dumarating na rin sa point na tinatanong ko yung worth ko—siguro hindi ako worth it mahalin kaya hindi ako yung pinili ni Bada. I know I am not enough kasi if I am, baka we're happy in a relationship now.

Hays ayos lang, ayos lang. Sa una lang naman ganito eh. I have to experience this kind of pain para matuto at matauhan ako. I know I can overcome this one and be a better person.

Pinagmamasdan ko lang silang dalawa at napapangiti na lang. Maybe I should be happy for them na lang? Tanginang buhay na 'yan haha joke lang masakit pa rin eh.

“Sino ba 'tong tawag nang tawag?” bulong ko nang maramdaman kong nagvivibrate yung phone ko. I took my phone out of my bag and a small piece of paper fell out.

“Ma?” I said on the other line and also picking up the paper. I read it and this is the paper given by Iris.

“Where are you?”

“I'm on my way home pero may dadaanan muna ako.”

“Okay, be home safe! See you soon.”

“Bye.”

I hung up on my mom and I've lost them. Nawala na sa paningin ko yung dalawa. Habang naglalakad ako, binabasa ko ulit yung hawak kong papel at napabuntong hininga na lang.

I don't know what I was doing, my feet dragged me somewhere and realized I was already in front of Bada's house. Bakit ako napadpad dito? Shit naman ang sabi ko magmomove on na ako, hindi yung sasaktan pa sarili ko.

To my surprised, I saw Bada, Iris and Haechi—magkakasama silang tatlo at mukhang masayang masaya sila.

“Wait so meaning to say Haechi knew all of this? Alam niya pero hindi niya sinabi saakin?” bulong ko habang pinagmamasdan silang tatlo na nag-uusap sa garden ng bahay nila.

So totoo rin yung sinabi ni Iris na magkasama sila ni Bada sa iisang bahay? Simula't simula pa lang, niloloko na pala ako ni Bada at ang malala pa dun kasabwat pa niya si Haechi na ang role pagtakpan si Bada.

I trusted Haechi and treated her as my friend; I feel so betrayed. Ayos lang naman saakin kung hindi ako yung gusto ni Bada kasi kaya kong tanggapin yun pero no, dalawa silang magkaibigan na pinagtulungan ako at pinagmukha akong tanga.

I shouldn't have trusted them. I hate them—I fucking hate them a lot.