15 - What went wrong

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Fast forward, many years passed since Hyunjin and Eun's first date

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Fast forward, many years passed since Hyunjin and Eun's first date. Their relationship continued going strong all that time.

On that dark day, Hyunjin went to Eun's apartment to get his headset. He carelessly left it there, but that was his favorite pair, and he wanted to take it on a tour. So, he opened up his apartment door with a spare key.

The first surprise was realizing Eun was home when he was supposed to be working.
The second surprise was seeing him walking out of a bathroom naked, with some distinct red marks on his skin, especially on neck, and wrists.

- You're home! - Hyunjin rushed to his embrace to kiss the red bruises. He assumed that Eun just finished a hard dance practice or maybe he had some strong physical therapy afterwards.

But...

There was a pair of handcuffs on a bed.

Sheets were all messy.

An open condom wrap on the floor.

A sound of the entrance door opening and closing was heard.

Hyunjin's face went white, and he lost his breath.

Seeing Eun's painful and regretful expression was the worst.

- Hyunjin....

- No.
Don't say it.

He wanted to run away but he didn't want to see the person who just left the apartment in rush. He was mercilessly stuck between the person who betrayed him and the person who tied his lover up, kissed him, loved him... in "their" bed.

So he turned his face away and tears jumped out without any warning. He didn't want to cry, he didn't want to show how hurt he was, so he pretended to scratch his nose in silence but he was wiping quiet tears with a sleeve.

- Hyunjin, it was nothing... I was stupid! I got wasted last night and Sam told me to take a day off and forget that disastrous performance and...

- Why... did I do something wrong...?

- No!!! It's nothing to do with you, it's my own demons!!
Ever since this damn tour started, I'm failing everyone, and I don't have any control over the enormous failure this tour is going to be. I just... you know I... we...

Hyunjin knew about Eun's little kink for pain, bondage and some unusual stuff. Eun brought some weird sex toys to try out, he even proposed to take him to some club "just to check it out", but Hyunjin gave it a definite no. He never found that kind of sex even a little bit attractive.

By looks of it, someone else was giving Eun what he wanted to try out.
For some reason, all this was even worse to Hyunjin. The person he adored and always treated with love, wanted to be treated harshly, to be hurt. He didn't understand any of it.

Eun fell on his knees.
He begged.
He pleaded.
It was an agonizing night for both of them.

- Please don't leave, please, this was a stupid mistake.
I love you! I always loved only you!

- No. Love is faithful.

But even though their hearts cracked, they didn't break up.

They continued as before, secret meetings and sleepovers. If they were lucky with their schedule, they'd spend a whole weekend together.
Hyunjin even tried to be more understanding in bed, maybe to experiment a little. But every time he'd try, those damn handcuffs would appear in his memory... he hated it!

He just couldn't love him any more. He couldn't kiss him, or touch him.
Until Eun said one day:
- You should have an affair, Jinnie. You should do it to punish me, or when you hate me, or for whatever reason you choose. It can be now, or next year... whenever you decide. Maybe then you'll be able to forgive me.

Maybe he's right, Hyunjin thought. Because nothing else was working.
He desperately wanted to forget, or at least to get over the betrayal.

But what if this wasn't the only one time? What if there were others?

- Hyunjin, that was the only time. - Eun said as if he was reading his mind.
- One time too many, nevertheless.

- Ok. I'll do it.
I'll have an affair.

******

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