Stray Kids One Shots || Shinysunlix

Pain

*based on a book I'm writing*

Warnings apply; Angst, self harm, eating disorder/indicating eating disorder, suicide

This oneshot contains possibly triggering themes and contents such as suicide, selfharm, eating disorders. 

Please do not read if previously mentioned topics trigger you, or you have history with said topics. And if you do read, you are on your own. I will not be responsible if you get triggered.

And please if you are feeling the need to do selfharm, suicide or anything self destructive, please seek help from your local health care. You are not alone and you are loved.
-J

⚠️this is entirely fictional!⚠️

And I want to clarify: 

I am not intending to glorify or romanticise mental health issues. I have gone through things myself and I also don't want to undermine anyone's feelings or issues.

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"Jisungie!" Felix yelled to his best friend from the hallway in attempt to gain his attention.
The older was in his bed, yet again writing on his secret navy blue notebook he guarded with his life.
No one was allowed to touch it, let alone read it.

Jisung hummed a quiet response to his twin who now stood on the doorway staring at him intensely.

"What are you writing?"
"You know I will never tell you."
Felix knew very well he will never tell him, but he still wanted to try his luck.
"Will you come to the arcade with me?" The younger begged his best friend who was so focused on writing he barely could lift his nose up from the book.
"Lix I'm not really up for it right now. I just wanna be alone."

They were the only ones at the dorm, because everyone else had decided to go out to meet their families for a dinner. Jisung's family was on a holiday so he couldn't visit them, not that they cared anyways.
Felix's family too was on a trip so he couldn't visit them, meaning he obviously was eager to have some fun with his best friend who seemed to take no interest in him.

Felix was just about to turn away when he heard Jisung's voice.
"Actually maybe I could come?"

And that's how the two ended up going to the arcade and Jisung thought he could have some peace from his ongoing destructive thoughts. Boy was he wrong.

You're nothing but a worthless piece of shit.

Maybe if you actually lost some weight, you'd be able to dance properly.

"Sung?"
Felix must have called the other about a few times because the last call was slightly louder than what he was used to.
"Sorry."
"Are you okay?"
He saw the worry on the younger's face. Yet he still refused to share his thoughts to him.
"What are you planning to eat?"

They, or more like Felix was staring at the menu in the fast food restaurant that was jointed with the arcade.
Jisung looked down to avoid seeing all the food.
He was so hungry, but he could not eat. Not if he wanted to lose some weight.

"You eat. I ate at the dorm."
Felix looked at him with a suspecting face "How you could have? You've sat in your bed all day."
"I ate some leftover chips."
The ravenhead blatantly lied to his best friend and he had no idea how.

In all honesty he felt bad for lying in such shameless manner, but he felt even worse in his head.
Jisung followed Felix to the table after the younger had ordered food for himself.
The entire time Felix stared at Jisung, making Jisung immediately think there was something wrong with him.
He was tired, hungry and thirsty, but refused to eat, all because of the voices in his head, they too refused to stop speaking to him in his head.