I hate airplanes. They suck. And, since I'm on a plane and I'm going to spend the rest of today on one (I'll probably be in Toronto when I publish this because that's where I'm headed), I thought I'd write about why I hate them.
1. They don't touch the ground. I have a rule that I live by, which is: never trust anything that isn't connected to the ground.
2. They're cramped. You're literally sitting in a metal tube for hours on end. Sounds like fun, right? WRONG!
3. Farts. In a plane, I'm pretty sure they're just recycling the old air, so if someone farts, you smell it for the rest of the flight. I can seriously smell the same fart that someone ripped at the beginning of the flight.
4. "Food". Airplane food is the driest thing in the WORLD. So, you're getting the spit sucked out of your mouth by some pretzels (which, I might mention, have the exact same texture as road gravel), and your drink is too small to hydrate you.
5. Logic fails. Apparently (according to Riya and Abby), if I use data on a plane, the whole thing will stop working and fall out of the sky. Could someone please explain this to me?! How the fuck does that even work?! Can I get an explanation, please? Anyone? I thought so.
6. Turbulence. I get motion sickness, and this is pretty much hell on earth.
7. Takeoff/landing. You're tilting up, down, left, right, and pretty much any other direction you can think of. As I mentioned above, motion sickness is a big problem, and takeoff/landing are almost as bad as turbulence.
8. Other people. I'm sitting by some of the loudest, most annoying people in the grade. If they don't shut up, I'm going to carpe their collums and break them.
9. Seats. These seats are SOOO uncomfortable. Seriously, kill me.
10. Temperature. They're somehow too hot and too cold at the same time? How is this even possible?!
Anyway, that's all I can think of for now.
Hugs and bloody knives,
- Elise 😈
