Doomtryst | Astarion x Durge

Chapter 5: Thoughts

Chapter 5: Thoughts

At the university, Astarion sat at a large wooden table in the library, holding a quill in one hand as he carefully wrote his notes and thoughts based on a textbook he was reading on civil law. He tried so hard to focus, so hard to put his thoughts together, yet all he could think about was the night before. His hand trembled, thinking about the way her lips tasted, the way her body felt, soft and warm, how she had utterly captivated him. Astarion attempted to collect himself, he was blushing, he could feel his blood rise to his cheeks, he recalled what she had said that night, the promise he had made to her. Even at that moment, he wanted to do nothing but see her again, but perhaps it was too early. He was too eager, too careless. He had to think of her reputation as well.

It had only just occurred to him, what she risked by falling for him. A noblewoman who has an affair with the law student she sponsors, not a pleasant image to the public eye. Yet he knew it was not that, after all, Lady Seraphina was a woman of great honor and he wanted to be good for her. Someone she could trust. Someone who brings good to the city, he was no hero, but she certainly was. Astarion closed the textbook, fidgeting with the end of his feathered quill, ink lightly splashing on the edge of his parchment.

''Gods...''

He uttered, getting up to clean the mess he made on the table. Perhaps it was best not to take candy from strangers after all.

~

In the meantime a week or so had passed since Astarion and Seraphina had mingled so intimately. The time had come where they would meet at the temple again, and just as the week before, Astarion helped in the kitchen. This time however Seraphina avoided him, she did not even hug him, or greet him warmly. She was cold, distant. The entire time Astarion felt isolated, as if he had done something wrong. He could not help but feel guilty, and he recalled it was him that initiated the kiss, he was the one who looked at her in that way, with desire. In his eyes she was but a woman he had seduced, when in all reality it was she who had seduced him. Naive as he was, he did his best to keep distance as well, though it was hard to. Sometimes she walked over to him, grabbing a utensil, giving him a soft quick smile as she rushed past. Even in those moments, he so longed for her, and it made him feel horrible.

When the day had ended, just as last time, Astarion read the children a book and let the Priestess tuck them into bed. He was exhausted, though not as much as the last time. As he gathered his belongings to leave in the small gathering room of the temple, he felt someone staring at him. It was Lady Seraphina of course. She wore that most pious outfit, the stained apron around her neck and her hair a messy bun. She was holding out a little basket for him, neatly wrapped in a white towel.

''I'm sorry...we did not have much time to speak to one another. I thought I could...make it up to you.''

Seraphina said sweetly. Astarion was a bit dumbfounded, he took the basket into his hands, opening it up to see what it was. Strawberry jam cookies, oh she was good, devilish almost. He smiled brightly, almost chuckling at her innocence.

''Seraphina...you did not have to, this is...so very sweet thank you.''

He uttered.

''Thank you for helping, it's been a busy week for me, I feel as though I've lost track of time!''

Seraphina brushed her hair behind her ear, almost timidly. She was toying with him, yet he had not a clue. Astarion felt rather awkward, all this time he had suspected that she was ignoring him due to what happened between them. He was unsure if she wanted to continue whatever thing that they had between them, though from their conversation that morning it seemed as though she did want it too. Yet he nodded, silently.