Doctor Who Meets Horrible Histories

Bob Hale - Series 4 Report

Bob Hale report for Doctor Who Series 4 (10 and Donna). Thanks to @Scotch51  for the request!!

This is London. Yet again, we start in the UK's most populated and, judging by these stats, most popular for alien invasions, and/or visits from our favourite two-hearted alien. Two hearts literally, not metaphorically. Well...I suppose it could be a metaphor, if you take two hearts to mean........nevermind. I'm getting distracted again. 

So, this is London. And here is Adipose industries, the centre-place for, believe it or not, the Adipose! So here is Donna Noble, and she's on a mission....and over there is the 10th Doctor, who's also on a mission. Funnily enough, it's the same mission....and yet they keep missing each other. Eventually, their missions collide.....but they are immediately thrown into conflict with an angry Nanny and her army of cute fat blobs. Sounds.....scary? Inevitably, Nasty Nanny's mission flops (and so does she) and the Doctor and Donna are left....waving at fat. 

After this fat-tasy (get it?) a trip to 79 A.D results in getting clever in Latin, meeting a few future faces, and "You fought him off with a water pistol!! I bloody love you!". Donna was, of course, referring to the eight foot lava monster.

This trip into the far distant past is then immediately followed by a trip to the far distant future -  polar opposites you could say. On the icy Ood-sphere, the Doctor and Donna encounter strange creatures.....who seem to be choking on squid? Yes, that's right, the Ood like their food a bit too much, and have ended up with squid in their mouth, meaning they have to talk out of...oh, no, it seems that is not the case....these Ood are actually born like that, and are being enslaved through the control of their shared brain. You know, that's actually quite horrible. 

The next adventure of our two heroes is to the wonderful world of....modern day earth? What is it with that police box and the city of London in the present day? Anyway, an annoying teen and a team of Sontarans are attempting to destroy the earth....with car fumes. With a bit of help from our favourite dumbo.....I mean Doctor, Donna, and another familiar face, the earth is soon back to normal.

Before the Doctor can return Martha to her life, the TARDIS is dragged off on another adventure....and this time to a planet with a cross-species war that has been going on for generations. It is here that the Doctor's DNA is smushed about - a technical term - and his daughter is created (who happens to already be the Doctor's daughter - and the future wife of the Doctor. I promise it's not as weird as it sounds). Eventually, amid all the chaos,  Donna figures it out, and the war (that is really only a week old) is stopped. But not before the death of Jenny, the Doctor's Daughter - who, as she has the DNA of a Timelord, is able to heal. With the Doctor already gone, Jenny decides to follow in the footsteps of her father, and leaves to travel the universe. 

The Doctor then takes his companion to the 1920's, where they encounter a murder mystery at a fancy party in a large manor house. The Doctor plays a round of cricket, and then......ooops, sorry. Wrong story. The cricket bit isn't right, but the rest of it is. Anyway, some overly salty salt, life or death charades, a solved mystery, and one giant wasp later, and everything is resolved as always. 

But not for long! The Doctor and Donna try to take a peaceful trip, and what could be more relaxing than a quiet library? Or so we thought! This library trip results in cannibalistic shadows, Who turned out the lights, and an encounter with an old friend - who the Doctor hasn't met yet (wibbley wobbley timey wimey....stuff). 

Terror in the library is immediately followed by terror on the train, with the Doctor, Merlin, and some train passengers taking on the dreaded....Sheldon Cooper! Well, a monster that loves to aggressively knock three times. Roast beef. Bananas. The Medusa Cascade. Bang! 

Next Donna must turn left. Literally, that's it. She just has to turn left. 

And now....Boom! Planets are disappearing...and the Earth has been stolen! A huge group of the Doctor's friends and family from this dimension, and others, must band together to stop the Doctor's greatest enemy...the Master! No, their other greatest enemy.....The cybermen! No, the other one.......Davros! The Torchwood gang must fight some Daleks, the Bannerman Road gang must fight some Daleks, Harriet Jones must fight some Daleks (and they know who she is),  Rose comes back and blows up some Daleks, Wilf paintballs a Dalek in the eye stalk, Martha Jones and Unit.....well you get the idea. Eventually, after accidentally creating a copy of himself (who ended up with Rose, the first - but not the last - companion to end up with a version of the Doctor) via a Timelord/Human metacrisis and complications with regeneration, and stopping the Daleks (by blowing them up. again), the action is finally over!! But not for long!! Because of the memories in her head, Donna must forget about the Doctor, to stop her brain from exploding. Binary, binary, binary. 

Bobs leans over, hands on his knees, struggling for breath. And that's series 4! Come back next week for more! 

Thanks for reading! I really hope you enjoyed, and that all of the jokes made sense. 

If you have a request for which series I should do next, please comment. I'd also be happy to do an expanded one for a specific episode, please comment if you have a request : )

Thanks again for reading, and I hope you're doing well : ) <3