Doctor Who Meets Horrible Histories

Historical MasterChef (2)

The next round of Doctor-Chef! Featuring Nine, Thirteen, Five and Eleven (again)

Potentially my weirdest creation yet..... 

Four eager chefs, four eras, but just one prize. Who will be crowned MasterChef! 

"I thought we'd agreed this the last time!" Groaned John, as the four Doctors looked up abruptly at the mention of the word 'Master'. 

There was a back-tracking sound effect, and the voiceover repeated its message. Four eager chefs, four eras, but just one prize. Who will be crowned Doctor-Chef!

"Thank you." Said John, rolling his eyes. "Honestly, some people." He muttered to himself. 

"So," said Greg, approaching Nine, "Our raining champion, what are you making for us today?"

"Banana bread." Said Nine, mashing a huge bowl of bananas and grinning like a madman. 

"Again?" Asked John, joining his co-judge. 

Nine shrugged. "Bananas are good. A good source of potassium." 

"Did you know," said Thirteen, grinning from the next station over, "That bananas are radioactive. In fact, if you ate 50 million bananas, you'd die from radiation poisoning." She said  enthusiastically, as if this information was merely a fun fact, and in no way morbid. 

"Actually, you'd probably die of eating too much fruit first. That's what happened to King George the first, you know." Said Five helpfully, not looking up from his cooking. 

"And I suppose you know that because you've met him." Sighed John. 

"No, actually." Eleven put in from the back corner. "He's just listened to Born 2 Rule one too many times." 

"You can't listen to Born 2 Rule too many times! It's a Classic!" Said Five indignantly. 

"I like the Monarch Song." Said Thirteen. 

"Please don't tell me you know the whole thing?" Nine groaned.

"Of course!" Thirteen grinned. "I'm William the conqueror, my enemies..."

Eleven groaned, putting his hands over his ears. "Oh no, not again. Please no."

Thirteen looked downcast and stopped singing. "What song do you like then?" She asked.

Eleven thought about it for a second. "Dick Turpin: Highway Man is good. Or the Few." 

"Oh I love The Few!" Said Thirteen eagerly. "I know that one too. We fighter pilots fought the German chaps in World War Two..."

"In hurricanes and spitfires performed feats of derring-do!" Eleven added, finally enjoying the sing along. 

"The finest British pilots that the world could hope to have..." Thirteen continued. 

"Binky! Stinky! Squiffy! Franstisek! And Stansislav!" They chorused together. 

Nine rolled his eyes, and Five grinned as he scooped ice cream into a glass.

"You have one hour remaining!" John shouted, needlessly loudly, in an attempt to slow the rapidly blooming tangent that would no doubt eat up the rest of the time if it was allowed to continue. Even alone these Doctors were a recipe for chaos - it was a wonder the producers allowed multiple in one show, John thought.  

**********

"So, what are you making?" John asked Thirteen, looking curiously over her shoulder as she slid a tray of biscuits into her oven. 

"Custard Cremes." She answered. "They're my favourite, so I figured I'd give making them myself a go. I even managed to get the Tardis' recipe." 

"The Tardis is a person now?" Asked Nine.