FisherWood : A Series Of One-Shots

How Do I Live?

It's been another day, another miserable day alone for Carrie. Mike has took the dogs with him when he left the other day which had her spending the whole day crying inside their bedroom. And today would not be spent any differently.

Carrie agonizingly opened her stinging eyes and was immediately greeted by the light that was a bit blinding. She swung her legs over the bed, groaning as it landed on the floor. No motivation to even stand up or lift a finger for the day.

She went downstairs and sat on the living room couch staring at the dead television. What have I done? She kept asking herself, the same question she asked herself the moment she woke up on the bed next to Brad Paisley.

She didn't know what happened exactly either, she wasn't drunk, nor she was on any influence of alcohol. It just happened. She was caught in the moment and until now she was stuck in it. She can't erase the memory and she most definitely can't forget it. Because, whether she liked it or not, she felt something between her and Brad during that moment and it wasn't just lust. It was something her and Mike have been missing for the past few months.

She couldn't blame Mike for leaving her behind when the cheating scandal broke out to the news in the whole world. He needed his time to think, whether he still wants to stay with her or not and simply throw away their five-year marriage, but she wasn't about to let that happen no matter what it takes.

Later that morning, instead of eating a normal breakfast, she found herself chugging on the bottle of wine she had been avoiding since day one.

She was still planted on the couch, taking another swig from the wine bottle not minding to even take a glass of wine to drink on, when the door swung open. She was startled at first, but smiled widely when Mike stood by the doorway. She was hoping for the best.

Mike had both dogs on his arms, and when he let go of them, they immediately ran to Carrie. "They've missed you." He said, shutting the door. "I have been calling you since this morning and you haven't answered."

Carrie turned her ttention from her babies to Mike. "I'm sorry, I left my phone upstairs." She apologized before standing up, leaving Ace and Penny pooling on her feet, trying to jump her.

Mike scanned the room, finding bottles of wine on the coffee table. "Have you been drinking?" All of a sudden, his mood has changed.

Carrie looked down and focused her blurring eyes on the wood tiles. "I'm sorry." She croaked. Tears pooled on her eyes. Another mistake. She thought.

"Never mind." His jaw clenched as he reached inside his pocket, pulling out a pen and the divorce papers. "I only came here for this." He said when he held out his hand and handed Carrie the papers and the pen.

Carrie didn't even have to look at the papers before she shoved Mike's hand away. "Mike, no!" She exclaimed, tears now escaping her eyes. "Please, don't make me do this." She pleaded walking closer to her husband.

Mike looked away from Carrie, he couldn't handle seeing her like this. Carrie was a mess. But she had hurt him. "I can always just come back for those, just message me." He swallowed hard, fighting back his tears.

Carrie hugged him, wrapping her arms aorund him firmly, not wanting to let go ever. "Don't leave me again, please." She buried her head on his chest. "I'm so sorry. I'm really really sorry." She continued, gripping on his shirt. "Mike, please." She cried. "I love you so much and I know I screwed up bad and that what I did was unexcusable but please, don't do this." She stared i ti his eyes, the spark in them that she loved looking at was gone. "I swear, you can go take your time to think things through, you can stay at the cabin, you can go to Canada and clear your mind, I don't care how long you need to recoup, just promise me you'll come back to me and we can start again and just forget about all this and I know, I know that it's not something we can easily forget but let's at least try. Please."

Mike wanted so bad to hug his wife back but something deep inside him stops him. He wanted so bad to give in to her request and tell her to stop crying because everything's going to be alright and he'll stay no matter what, but then his mind tells him not to. He was hurt. He was hurt bad. She hurt him, she did something he believed she's not capable of doing so, she cheated on him. And it doesn't matter if it was only a one-time thing. He tried to loosen her grip on him ever so gently, not wanting to use any force, for hurting her is the very last thing he wanted to do. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.

Carrie's cries began to sound louder. "No. Please, Mike. Don't leave me, please." She hugged him as tight as she could, knowing if she let go, Mike would be out of her house and of her life. "Stay, please. I'd do anything, just tell me what it is. I'd be more than willing to do it." She didn't care if she sounded desperate or even acted desperate. All she cares about is how she can make Mike stay. She kept trying to meet his eyes but he wouldn't look at her, making her frustraton grow. "I love you too much to just let you slip off my hands without doing anything."

"If you really love me then you wouldn't have slept with another man in the first place."

Carrie was taken aback by his response. "Mike, I..." She started saying but was soon cut off when Mike freed from her grasp and staryed walking towards the door.

"I'll come back for those in a week." He said flatly before Carrie's arms slipped her arms from his back, tightly clutching herself onto his shoulders, now sobbing uncontrollably.

"No, Mike. Don't leave please." She cried out, trying her hardest tighten to grip on Mike, even if it hurt her arms. "Please. I'm begging you, Mike." Neither did she care about staining the back of Mike's shirt with her tears, she buried her head on it, wanting be feel so close and safe just as she used to every time she's in his arms.

Mike swallowed a huge lump on his throat, fighting the urge to turn back arpund and retrieve the divorce papers and change his mind. Carroe crying because of him made him hate himself. He wanted to kiss her, knwoing the effect it has on her, to somehow calm her down and stop her crying, but he knew it was beyond his ability to do so. "I'm sorry, I have to go, Carrie." He said, making contact with Carrie's hands as he slid them off of him.

Mike calling him 'Carrie' made her heart hurt in a way. He never calls her with that name, and hearing it at the moment made her feel worthless to him. Almost as if she didn't mean anything to him. She felt weak, making Mike able to take her arms off of him and walk out of their house. She just stood there, watched him leave her. Without any plans of coming back.