Warning:mention of sexual assault,rape, night terrors and ptsd.
Bucky's POV
She's dreaming again. Dreaming with her eyes open asking someone..... No begging someone to stop. "STOP,PLEASE STOP", she screams over and over with her eyes wide open as if she's calling out to me. Calling me to help her, but I can't.
I can't wake her up. Nightmares are over thing but night terrors are completely different-one shouldn't wake someone up from a night terror,it makes it worse-is what she told me once.
I don't want to make it worse for her. She's already in too much pain. It's written all over her face.
So I just sit on our bed ,helpless, waiting for it to be over.
Sometimes when I hear her scream I wish there was someone physical that I could fight off, not a memory that I can't protect her from.
I love her so much and it physically hurts to watch her in so much pain almost every night and the worst part is that I can't do anything about it.
I will never forgive myself for not being there with her that day to protect her from those monsters. From stopping them for scaring my love for life.
She starts to stir and I'm immediately by her side.
Y/n's POV
I wake up with a jolt, breathing heavily. I look around and find myself in my bed with my boyfriend and not those monsters.
I sigh with relief. I look at Bucky his face is etched with pain.i wonder what he must have heard me say or for how long but I can't bring myself to ask it.
He doesn't say anything either, probably waiting for me to say something but I don't know what to say or do so I run and hide like always.
I run and lock myself inside the bathroom and start the shower hoping the cold water would wash away the memories of those hands on my body but it doesn't, nothing does.
Bucky keeps his distance trying not to make me uncomfortable.
"Doll"he calls out to me.
I can hear him. His voice is faint as if he is far away. He takes slow steps towards me. I can see him now. His eyes are filled with tears as if my pain is causing him pain.
Maybe it is.
He wraps a towel around me and brings me closer to him. This time I let him.
The minute he wraps his hands around me I break.
He holds me through my breakdown telling me that's it's all over now. I'm not sure it is. I'm not sure it'll ever be over.
He brings me inside the bedroom.
"Doll, you can't sleep in these clothes, you'll catch cold"he says softly.
I'm not sure I'm even listening to him anymore just enjoying the warmth of his embrace.
"Can I take them off of you"he asks me.
"No leave me alone"I beg him.
"Can't do that, doll.I can't leave you even if you ask me to"he says with confidence.
"Please let me help you. Let me take care of you"he says while pulling away the towel from me. I let him do it because I'm too tired to fight.
"I'm here doll no one is going to hurt you now. I won't let them. I'll protect you ,that's my job,remember"he keeps talking to me while he changed my clothes.
"It's just me here. Bucky. Your Bucky."
"I'm tired buck. I'm so tired"I cry into his arms.
"I know, baby. I know."he kisses the top of my head and puts me too bed.
Bucky's POV
I tuck her into my arms under the covers and promise myself to never let anyone hurt her again.
To never let anyone get to my girl.
To love and cherish her for the rest of our lives.
To help her heal in the process and to give her as much time as it takes for her to love herself again.
Until then I'll love her enough for both of us.
I'll love her more than myself.
I'll do anything to protect my doll.
