Secondhand Heart

CHAPTER 5: "You and I Tonight"

Liz dragged him down by the collar for a kiss as soon as the door had closed behind them, her hands sliding his coat from his shoulders. There was no way she would let him sleep on the couch tonight. Liz was sure now. She wanted him, and she wanted him now. He had one hand buried in her hair, using the other to press her hips against his own and Liz could feel Red wanting her, too.

Until he gently pulled away from her.

"What?" Liz asked, suddenly afraid he had changed his mind.

"We shouldn't," he whispered softly.

"What are you talking about? I want you," she said and tried kissing him again, but Red wouldn't let her.

"You wanted me this morning, in my office, and that quickly faded away. I don't want you to regret anything. Not again."

"I won't," Liz said, slightly maddened, "And I know you want me."

She slid her hand down but was stopped by him right before she had reached his belt.

"That's not the point. I always want you. But we agreed on wine and talking and that's what we'll do," Red said and lifted Liz's hand up to his lips.

She groaned. "Fine."

Liz made a gesture for him to sit down on her couch while she went into the kitchen to re-emerge a few moments later with a bottle of wine and two glasses. As she passed her bookshelf Liz spotted the picture of herself and Tom. She thought about it for a moment and then turned it around.

"Okay, here we are. Wine, glasses, you pick a topic," Liz said as she let herself fall down next to him.

Red pointed at another framed picture that adorned her living room wall. It was a photograph of her former English class and every kid had signed its name underneath the picture. Everyone had written some nice, kind words of goodbye. All except this girl Courtney Woods, who had just written "won't miss ya".

"That's my former colleague in the FBI," Liz explained, a little surprised he hadn't spotted it the first time he had been to her place.

"You used to be a Fed?" Red asked in surprise.

"Yes."

"Then how come you're back at university?"

"I, uhm, I didn't feel like I was up to the job. It's a bit overwhelming sometimes," Liz lied. This was the perfect timing to tell him about what had really happened, tell him about Tom. He would understand. He would know why she had been hesitant and indecisive, why she found it hard to commit. And then he'd be understanding and kind and nice and Liz would start hating him for it, she would hate the looks he gave her, the words of kindness and it would ruin everything.

Instead she wrapped her arm around him and rested her head on his chest.

"And you?" Liz asked, "Have you always been teaching at university?"

"That's a long story. Sure you want to hear that now?"

"Yes," Lizreplied with a smile and closed her eyes to listen to him.

And so, Red told him of how he became a college professor after being one of the most celebrated Navy Admiral, top of his class, Naval Intelligence Officer.

Liz woke up when something tickled her ear. Still very sleepy she tried to stretch her body only to realize that she was being held tightly. Red had his arms wrapped around her, his chest still pressed against her back and Liz realized that they must have fallen asleep like that on the couch the night before. She could tell that Red had also woken up as his face was nestled somewhere against her hair and he was very sloppily kissing her neck.