The Only One | Negan

9. Poison

It was getting late. Too late.
The cold air made me shiver, but I didn't want to go inside. Instead, I pulled the zipper of my jacket up and shifted on the cold concrete steps.
What time is it? 3 AM? 4?
Whatever. I don't care.

I took another sip of the bottle of red wine that Simon gave me as a gift for the finalization of my trial. I honestly didn't even know there was a trial. Now, after today's events, I was officially a lieutenant. For Negan. Great.
I wondered if he's gonna make me say "I'm Negan" just like everyone else here. Pathetic charade.

I wanted to go home. The little hope that Negan gave me kept me going for the past week, but now it was completely demolished. And I was the one to blame.

This wine would've tasted better with Daryl, seated on the swing on the porch in front of our house in Alexandria.

Fuck, I'm so tired. And the bottle is already halfway empty.

"The fuck are you doing out here?"

I didn't turn around. I knew exactly who it was just by the deep voice that came from behind. I heard the slow heavy steps coming closer and Negan sat beside me on the stairs with a deep sigh. I didn't even show that I acknowledged his presence but I could feel him staring at the side of my face.

"It's late. Why aren't you in bed?" He asked almost soundlessly. His voice was like caramel - smooth, soft, a bit raspy.

"What are you, my mom?" I retaliated with simmering resentment.

Negan huffed a laugh, barely audible, and took the almost empty wine bottle from between my legs. He took a sip and put it back down, crossing his hands on top of his knees.

"What's wrong?" His gaze was burning me.

"Why aren't you in bed?" I bit back, ignoring his question completely.

"Because I couldn't sleep." He replied calmly.

"Why?"

"Because I have a lot of things on my mind." He took a deep breath and sniffed, looking down at his boots.

"What things?"

"You wouldn't understand, darling. And what about you? What's keeping Sandman away from you tonight?"

"I have a lot of things on my mind." I replied with his own words. But they were true.

"What things?"

"You wouldn't understand."

Negan laughed at my mockery.

"Try me." He turned his head to me. I finally managed to also look at him and the second I did, I regretted it.

"The fuck do you want with me now?" I spat, unable to control the whirlwind of emotions that were bubbling in my chest, just by the one look I took at his face. "Why don't you just leave me alone?"

He looked at me with raised eyebrows, not a trace of humor on his features.

"Alright. I get it. I'm going." He said and went to get up.

Fucking hell.

"Wait." I managed to grasp onto his hand.

Fuck, what am I even doing?
Negan froze in place, his eyes watching me expectantly.

"Do you by any chance know if there is more of this goddamn wine somewhere?" I asked, trying to find a reason to make him stay. Not only to justify it in front of him but also in front of myself, because I didn't understand why the hell I wanted his company in the first place right now. Maybe I just needed whoever's company. Just company.
Negan's lips cracked into a sly smirk.