The Only One | Negan

2. Deal

The cracking of gravel under the heavy tires of the convoy of trucks rumbled through the silence of the afternoon.
I stood up from my usual spot on top of the guard wall, rifle in hand, and motioned to the people downstairs to open the gates. The last truck that came into view was the familiar huge black GMC and I noticed the leather gloved hand on the steering wheel.
Fuck.

Not that I wasn't expecting him to come and inspect the weekly pickup but there was still some hope in me that he wouldn't. It was more bearable when he wasn't around. But he started coming each and every time. After the events a couple of months ago that took the lives of two of our friends, four actually with what happened two months ago, I just couldn't stand to even look at his smug face. And when he decided that he wants to spare my life that night at the line-up, because, as he said my face is "too goddamn pretty", I swore to myself that I will find a way to kill him slowly and painfully. It wasn't only hatred. It was also guilt. It was eating me up from the inside. Because I should've died that night. Not Glenn. The hatred that I felt for this absolute piece of shit Mr. Head Savior only grew stronger each time he showed up in Alexandria.

Rick thought it was better for us to just obey for the time being and follow orders. All I wanted was to bash that impudent bastard Negan's head into a wall and watch him bleed out, but just like Rick, I knew our chances of winning against the Saviors were slim to non-existent. So I just waited. And waited. Until there was an actual good chance. I also knew Rick well enough to see that he was afraid and Negan made it quite obvious he wasn't going to play around. So I didn't push. Although we had talked about fighting against the Saviors with the other two communities under their rule, we still didn't have the proper ammunition, nor organization. We needed time. We had a stash of explosives, but that was it.

The leader of the Savior's liking of me made my blood boil. I didn't know exactly what made him favor me so much, but he did and he was constantly making weird comments or plain flirting with me in front of everyone. He didn't miss a chance to show off and underline what a great benefit our relationship with the Saviors was. Never missed a chance to tell me how good-looking I am and how he dreams of me every night. It was uncomfortable, it was disgusting and I wanted to spit in his face. Of course, I cut him off, each and every time, but he didn't falter.
Because what Negan wants...Negan gets.

"Good fucking evening, everyone!" I heard his booming voice at the gates. I peeked through the railing a bit, so I could see what was transpiring downstairs. "It is so nice to be out in the suburbs again. Hell, I might just get myself a fucking house here. Love the atmosphere!"

I watched him as he took slow thunderous steps, baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire propped on his shoulder. He pointed his weapon at Aaron.

"You. Go take my people to wherever the fuck you store the supplies, you know the drill. And you, sweet angel" he then pointed at Olivia, who shivered in fear. "Show my man Simon the list. Don't want to miss a thing, you know?" Negan spread his arms wide with a ferocious grin. "Now where the fuck are Officer Friendly and my favorite little war goddess?"

I knew he was talking about me and an uneasy feeling started to settle in my guts. What if I just stay here and hide? He wouldn't notice me, right? Oh, fuck. He would. Rick was out on a run to scavenge and hadn't returned yet, so I was the only one left in charge. If being in charge meant anything now that Negan was here. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I secured the riffle on my back and slowly came down the metal stairs of the guarding wall.

Although my fragile 23 years of living, everything that happened after the end of the world and every single obstacle I had to cross, every person I lost, every trauma I endured, every scratch, bruise, and cut, my persona became made out of steel. Stone cold. Not a muscle flinching when I had to pull the trigger and blow somebody's brains off or witness it. That's what kept me alive, apart from my group. But I had to admit that these people, the Saviors, and Negan with his wide grin that never fell off of his face, did manage to make me nervous. There was something so threatening in his smile. So sinister.