The Only One | Negan

25. Worldview

"Remember when I said I couldn't be more in love with you?" Negan's soft voice sounded. His head was resting on my chest, my hands around his neck, stroking his hair. "I take that back. Apparently, I can."

"Oh, don't be so cheesy." I snorted a laugh.

"Am I cheesy?" He lifted himself up and leaned on his elbows. "Damn, that was offensive. I'm spilling my heart out, which, by the way, very rarely happens, and you call me cheesy."

I rolled my eyes with a laugh. The gramophone was spinning, quiet jazz sipping from it into the warm room.

"Let's stay here and never go back." I said, looking at the ornate ceiling. Negan, of course, was looking at me.

"Yeah, let's fucking do that."

I shifted my head to gaze back at him. I traced his tattoos with my finger, all the scars on his skin. Then my eyes unintentionally shifted down to mine. So many stories, so many fights. So much anger and grief. Hatred. But right now, so much love and happiness. Pure happiness. Bliss. He gave me what nobody could in a world like this. I felt safe and protected. I felt strong, but at the same time, I felt as if I could let my guard down and be vulnerable. Be a woman, not a fighter all of the time. And I could let myself fall because he was there to catch me. In his arms, I felt like nothing else existed. Like the world as we knew it didn't end.

It was truly a peculiar feeling that I'd never experienced before. This different type of love. And judging by the way his eyes melted into mine, he did feel it too. I've only dreamed about something like this. That someone like him would be mine. That I'd have anyone to be mine in that cruel world. Although he was the worst enemy I had just months ago. Life really had a weird sense of humor. At that very moment and for the first time in a while I really wanted nothing more than to just forget about everything else and stay right here, away from it all.

He inspected my face with a charming smug grin.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, cocking a brow.

"The end of the world." I said mysteriously.

"What about it?" He placed a couple of chaste kisses on my neck and jaw.

"That if it didn't end, we would've never met. It's funny when you think about it." I giggled as his beard tickled me.

"It is fucking funny, sweetheart." He said, his voice muffled in the crook of my neck.

"But the circumstances of our first encounter weren't funny."

"Nah. They definitely weren't."

We kept looking at each other silently, a smirk dancing on his handsome face. He then rested his head against my chest again and I started caressing his cheek.

"You do know that this was my...first time, right?" I asked suddenly. The nerves in me started tingling.
What if he was disappointed?

"Yes. I know." He said calmly and lifted his head to kiss my lips.

"And you're not mad that I didn't tell you?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Why would I be mad? There's nothing wrong about that." He said and placed another kiss on my parted lips, making me shut up. "If anything, you should be mad at me. Did it hurt?"

"Just a bit." I confessed. "But it was amazing."

"Oh, you haven't seen amazing yet, baby. I was holding back." He chuckled cockily and ducked into my neck again to shower me with more kisses.

"I've always wanted it to be special, you know." I said. "I wanted it to be someone I truly cared about. I just felt like the time is right and you're that someone."