Yuxuan (REMASTERED)

Chapter Thirty One

The darkness took over the blue sky much quicker than I expected. I took a walk in an attempt to clear my mind. But I lost track of time.

I was still thinking of everything all at once. I wasn't expecting to lose my job and my closest friend in one day.

Lester's words didn't comfort me, but I knew that he was right.

As I strolled around the town, I realized some things.

I am a selfish person.

The moment I left the shores of London, was anything I ever did from that point in for the benefit of others?

No, it wasn't.

I was always so focused on what I wanted.

Another thing I've come to understand was truly how spoiled I was. Everything was always handed to me.

There were times I thought I was facing harsh times under the control of my father, but being on my own brought its own horrid issues. In London, I was a daughter of a wealthy businessman.

And here? I was just another woman like the rest. My status didn't matter here. And I thought that's what I wanted, to be free from the Noles' name.

But I'd be lying if I were to say I didn't miss everything that came with being part of the upper class.

I missed my parents. I felt lost. From now on, what will happen next?

A soft breeze shook the ends of my skirt and I quickly closed the gap between my legs to preserve warmth.

Because of my selfish decision, I've caused problems for others.

And if my attitude has changed, what happened to my previous desires?

Why didn't I feel as passionate about traveling as I did before?

What did I truly want in life? I had to figure it out. The moment I stepped on that ship to set sail, I didn't know what I was fighting for.

I remember my stomach churning at any mentions of matrimony. The thought of any man asking for my hand made me sick. And that was because, in London, I could tell that the men there did not value me as a person.

Maybe I thought that traveling the world would improve my relationship with my father.

But with the situation I've found myself in, that was going to be impossible.

When I was a child, my father told me many stories of his travels across the sea. He told me the dangers, as well as the positives of going to different countries.

Those stories tickled my little ears, and I would dream of accomplishing the same things.

But after meeting Yuxuan, those stories seemed to have less of an influence on my thoughts.

Yuxuan was a dangerous man, very stoic in his posture. But he was very curious and open to discovery.

In my home country, he'd be described as a vicious savage out to hurt anyone who comes his way, just as my father's stories depicted.

But, Yuxuan wasn't a savage with uncontrollable bloodthirst. He was a protector. Yuxuan was a strategist, a skilled warrior. But he didn't have those qualities by choice.

That was a requirement for his survival.

And the more I thought about him, the more I felt indebted to him.

I took a deep breath and strolled down the path that led back to Lester's home.

Hansel's words hurt a lot. But nothing could compare to all the damage I've done to get where I am now.