"as long as I'm with you" ~ Eddie Munson

chapter 1 "welcome to Hawkins "

You watch the raindrops race on the windows as the car is driving,  making it's way to what your parents call your "new home". Y/n isn't really sure if that's what this would be, but home is where the heart is and she loved her parents, though they weren't always the best. Her mom could have good moments where she would be so sweet,  but then some small thing could shift her mood and she'd be that narcissistic person saying ugly things to her.  She would often lock herself in her room and cry, and once she stoped crying and had run out of tears, she'd feel empty inside,  like there was a deep hole inside her, screaming to be filled with love. As a child she'd try to get that feeling of being loved by oversharing, telling her mom all the things that were there to be told, all the secrets she could find  even the ones she shouldn't have told. But her Mom didn't care, so she would make up lies to get attention,  despreat for someone to listen,  someone to be interested in her. Once her dad couldn't handle her mom's personality anymore he started drinking.  He was always such a sweet person,  loved everyone and took care of her, it seemed like he actually saw her, but when he'd been drinking he was a different man. Y/N had often watched her mom and dad fight.  When dad had been drinking again and mom got mad about it. And he would get so angry, he couldn't control it and mom didn't stop pushing him, despite little y/n begging her to stop, to finally leave it be so things wouldn't escalate, but she pushed  she pushed till he lost it, till you had to watch him hit her. Many nights you couldn't sleep till 3 am, till they were finaly in bed sleeping. Because only then, you knew everyone would be safe. Y/n was only 7 when he started drinking  and the nightmare would only finally end when she was 13 and her dad stoped drinking for good after many broken promises that he would. But your mom never changed giving your dad no other option than leaving  and when the lawyer asked where you wanted to stay you had to make the hard choice of staying with your dad, but spending every second weekend with your mom. It was better that way because she was never mean in that short time and it was only a 2 hour drive. The only thing that didn't go away was that God damn anxiety,  the panic attacs and the constant nervousness,  always on the edge to the next panic attack hitting you like a wave.

You're being ripped out of your thoughts of your dad's sweet voice "honey we're here" he said softly.  You smile at him as you get out of the car looking around nervously.  With his small income you can't afford a big house so you live in the trailer park.  But it's not bad, you like it actually.  The world seems calm out here, away from the madness that other people call normality.  The chains on your ripped jeans make a cold metallic sound as you walk to the trunk of your dad's van. You start to unload your stuff, bringing box after box inside the trailer. You are just about to unpack the last box in your room as you hear the sweet sound of an electric guitar coming from the trailer next door. You feel a warm, calming feeling rising up inside you. There's something about metal music that helps you calm down. Maybe it's so loud that it's overwhelming the anger inside you giving you the chance to control it. Or it's loud enough to silence your anxiety and lock the world out of your brain for just as long as the musik plays.  You turn up the radio in your room blasting you new iron maiden cassette as you unpack the rest of your stuff. A soft smile on your lips as you finally find the small wooden box with your "special medicine" as you call it. Your not a junkie or anything but the weed helps to calm your anxiety,  it keeps the voices out so you smoke a joint whenever you feel a panic attack rising up inside you. At least when you have the option to but as you open the box you find it empty. "Shit" you say to yourself.  "Everything okay sweetie?" You hear your dad calling, "yeah dad just hit my leg, u know  I'm always so clumsy " you shout back.

It's been a long day so you let yourself sink into your bed, there's no school tomorrow, infact  holidays are still till next week and it's only Monday.  Tomorrow you plan on walking around,  taking a look at the new town, maybe check out the only bar this shithole has to offer. But for now, you just let your eyes fall shut as you snuggled into the soft pillow, slowly drifting away into sleep.

(NOTE: I plan on publishing a chapter a day at least, please don't be mad if I don't because I am very busy with work and school and sometimes I just forget due to my adhd but I really give my best)