No! Instinctively, I pushed him away, creating a distance between us. If I fall in love with him like this again everything will go back to the way it was. Back to when I couldn't say a word.
As we sat in an uneasy silence, the sudden sound of the garden door shutting jolted us both. Had Carden's parents been watching us? My gaze fell back onto the fireplace.
He said he wanted to do it for real this time. But he was acting, again. It wasn't real. Does he think I'm a pushover because I've been nicer to him lately?
"You're too much, Carden." I said lifting myself back up "Regardless, you have no right to do this."
"You know I'm scared of you." I added. He's someone who can nonchalantly suggest that we kiss for real, without any emotion. I'm still afraid of him. Because he makes something unreal feel real.
He rose up behind me "Is fear the only emotion you have towards me?" he asked. "Yes, that's why I can't move." Don't make my heart flutter. "I freeze when you hold me." Don't fall for him. "I find myself falling for you against my will." Don't look forward to anything.
Feeling a mix of vulnerability and confusion, I hastily fled back inside, leaving the chilly backyard behind. The door closed with a hushed thud, and the warmth of the indoors offered a stark contrast to the emotional turmoil within me. Please don't make me have these feelings for you. Just let me focus on your safety.
"Mrs. Valiente, I think we should go home now." I said approaching them in the living room. "What? Already? You're free to stay for the night." I shook my head politely declining their invitation "That's okay. We'll visit again next time."
"Oh, did you try the sweet potatoes?" she asked. Sweet potatoes? "Honey, I thought you went out to get the sweet potatoes why did you return empty-handedd?" she said turning her comforting gaze over to mr. Valiente with furied eyes. Oh, that was mr. Valiente earlier.
"Try some sweet potatoes before going home, dear." she smiled. "What are you doing? Hurry up and get the sweet potatoes!" she said turning back to father-in-law. "Yes, ma'am. I'm going, I'm goin." he sighed. "Should we join them." she asked holding onto my hand, before I nodded. "Sure."
We all followed them to the garden. Mr. Valiente stood with Carden near the barbeque, twisting and turning the potatoe before putting it into the paper bag Carden was holding. I also got one from him beforehand "They look delicious."
"A father-in-law has great love for his daughter-in-law, right? Mind you, Evelyn. He has never done this for me." she admitted getting a shocked look from me. "Never? I'm sure I've done it for you at least once." he shouted from behind. "Whatever." she scoffed.
"Oh, right. Are you busy next week, Evelyn?" she asks. "Mother-" Carden voice interrupts. "What? I just want to buy my daughter-in-law some dresses, that's all. Not to mention your dad's 60th birthday party is coming up soon, too." she spat back. "Evelyn, let's go shopping together if you're free!"
"Sure, mrs. Valiente. I'm free on friday afternoon." I smiled. "Perfect! I'll book the boutique for friday afternoon, then."
"Yes, mrs. Valiente."
-
As I approached my room, reluctant to face the emotions swirling between us, Carden's voice broke the uneasy silence. His words reached me just before I entered, and I turned to meet his gaze. "You don't need to see my mother on friday. I'll talk t her." I held onto the doorknob "I said I'll go because I want to." My heart was racing as I stormed into my room, closing the door behind me but not closing it shut. I was too angry, too hurt to face him right now.
It had been a long day, filled with one argument after another. And as always, it had ended with his hurtful words and dismissive attitude towards my feelings.
