Forbidden Fruit •Timothee Chalamet (Stepbrother)

22.Numb

Timothée sits up from the bed, laying his back on the cushions behind him, his lips pursed with anger that he's trying to suppress.He pulls on his t-shirt before his eyes wander to the wall in front of us, as he just stares at it blanky.

I let out a sigh of remorse as I rise up to comfort him, "Timothée..please don't be upset."
I go to grab his hand, before he snatches his hand away from my touch.

I flinch in shock to his harsh reaction.

"I mean, how would you feel Mia? To be in love with someone who can't even say it back?" his eyes roll, with his head away turned way from me.

I blink at him slowly and my eyes caress his face with regret.Timothée has every right to be mad at me. He gives me all this love and I can't even give it back properly.

"You know what Amelia? Just pretend you didn't hear me say anything." He gets ups abruptly, and folds his arms as he leans his back on the tv stand in front of the bed.

The room starts to feel suffocating and, the air turns heavy and sadness clings to every corner.

"Let's just live in a world full of delusion like your mom and act like everything is perfect..like my father isn't a PSYCHOTIC power hungry PIECE OF SHIT who's severely fucked up our heads and just FUCKING pretend that we don't absolutely love eachother." Timothée spits out the words, his eyes dripping in spite.

"You try to make it seem like us being together could be so simple. IT'S NOT that simple!" I yell out to him, and feel the ache of frustration in my chest.

"See that's the difference between me and you.I never cared what people thought about us. I wouldn't give a fuck if no one ever spoke to me again if it meant I could be with you. ALL I NEED IS YOU!" Timothée screams with exasperation.

My chest becomes so tight that it's hard to breathe and I clasp my head into my hands.I feel myself try to dissociate.I've always done this. When things get too hard..I shut down and I shut everyone out.

"You're not going to do this Ameila. You're not going to just block me out. You're going to face this with me. You hear me?" Timothée looks down at me, who's covering my face.

He can see right through me. I isolate myself in my own head when I feel overwhelmed and he's dealt with that horrible quality of mine our whole lives.

"I always knew my dad was evil and I'd have to create my own separate life away from him. In a way, I was searching for comfort from the nightmare that's been my life in this corrupt and vile family. I figured I'd fall in love with someone and be the man he never was and make that person my everything. I had a feeling that person was you since we were just kids, but I tried to suppress it cause I knew you couldn't handle it!",The pace of his speech quickens as he tries to get through to me as I stare at the veins pulsating in his neck.

The phrase "I know you couldn't handle it!" Starts to do cartwheels in my head. Logically, I know Timothée is in the right. But I can't help but take offense to that remark.Does he think I'm weak? I am a lot of things but weak isn't one of them. I have ALWAYS been resilient because I have to be to survive in this shit show of a family.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I snap at him,with anger seething through me.

"You know exactly what that's supposed to mean." He scoffs and raises his eyebrows with certainty.

"No, I don't. Enlighten me." I challenge, and narrow my eyes at him.

"You're scared." Timothée gives me a piercing stare.

"I'm scared?" I mock,my voice mimics his with annoyance.

"Yeah. You're scared." He repeats, coldly.

"Of what?" I utter with bitter resentment,as I squint my eyes at him.

"I don't know Amelia. You tell me." He challenges me back as his gorgeous complexion washes over in pain.

He starts to move closer to my face slowly as I look to him in agony.I feel him grab the back of my neck, pulling my forehead to his.

"You're scared to feel about me the way I feel about you. You're scared of loving me as much as I love you...and I know you do." He strokes my cheek tenderly. "I can see it in the way you look at me and in the way you make love to me. You don't have poker face. You might think you're good at hiding but you're not. At least not from me." He starts to trace his fingers on my jawline, his eyes focused yet soft.

To his gentle touch,I come undone. I have never been one that likes too show my emotions and I can't believe this is the second time I'm crying today. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to force out the tears so I can be done with them. I feel Timothée place a soft kiss on my forehead before moving his lips down and leaving small kisses down my face. Kissing away my tears.I pull him in and hugging him tightly while my whole body collapses in his chest.

"I- don't-know..whats wrong with me. I..am..so..fucked..up. " I say through sobs, my tears soaking his shirt while he rubs my back.

"Look at me." He pulls his my chin up to his face. 'We both are. We're going to figure all of this out together." He wipes my eyes with his thumbs as he holds my face.

"I love you. You don't know need to say it for me to love you and I'm not gonna give up. I'm going to keep fighting and all I'm asking is that you keep fighting for us too." His voice grew husky with passion and a soft smile forms on his face.

He is everything I've ever wanted..and all I'll ever want.Timothée is and always has been the anchor that holds me down before I float away.I love everything that he is, but I don't know what to do with all of this love.Yes, Timothée knows I am scared. Because I can't feel all the good without feeling the bad,and I think I just am accustomed to going through my life feeling comfortably numb.