Forbidden Fruit •Timothee Chalamet (Stepbrother)

34.Animalistic

(♡Hi loves! In this chapter I really wanted to focus an emphasis/ dive into the forbidden love aspect of the story. This story is heavily centered around the fact that they are step siblings and are "forbidden to be together" so I wanted to really bring to life the challenges I feel like would come with that to thicken the story line..anyways I hope you guys like it and there will be a lot of plot twists coming in the future. Thank you for all of the encouragement and as always vote and comment!♡) (Warning: sexual content,smut, a little possible cnc, mentions of drug use.)

My heart pounds and my breathing becomes shallow, right before I open my eyes.
I fell asleep.I must have drank too much wine at dinner but even aside from that, our conversation last night drained me.

I'm in between Timothée's legs, and my head is on his thigh with a blanket hanging ontop of me,and his hand is in my hair.

I hear little children's laughter from the window outside, and I look around and realize we're in the master bedroom.

"Hey.."He stares into my eyes but the look in his eyes hint at him being somber and low. "You fell asleep in my arms last night."

Of course..I fell asleep while he was rocking me soothingly,after I had a borderline nervous breakdown.

"Why am I asleep in between your legs? You're not even in a comfortable position. How did you fall sleep?" I look up from his lap at him. His long legs are wrapped around my body and I feel so secure.

"I didn't sleep." His voice is heavy. "I brought you to the bedroom and played with your hair, and got lost in my own thoughts."

Lost in his own thoughts? Anytime he starts to think too much he drives both of us crazy.

I sit up from him and face him, gripping the blanket loosely over my shoulders.I take a moment just to watch him but I feel like im getting crushed by all the words that are unsaid.I am falling into its pressure.

Timothée feels me looking at him. "I try so hard not be like him..not to be like my horrible father." He sucks in his breath and he looks like he is struggling to speak. "But when I see you cry and fall apart like you did after dinner,I realize how much I AM like him. I disappoint you. I hurt you.I.." He bites down on his bottom lip like he is trying to contain something. "When I get angry I turn into someone else, I don't even recognize myself. I do things I'm not proud of, but it's like I can't help it. It feels like a monster I try to contain all of the time finally takes over."

I slowly reach my hand over to his as I see him actively hate himself.

"You're not like him. We all make mistakes okay?" I rub his hand with my thumb in an attempt to calm him.It hurts to see him this way.

"No Amelia,because the way you looked at me last night with so much disappointment..It makes it hard for me to even stomach myself for making you feel that way. I have sex with all these girls and they mean nothing to me, and you mean EVERYTHING to me yet I'm causing you pain. I can't even explain the things that I'm doing cause they make no fucking sense."  He pinches his lips, and the absolute heartbreak in his voice makes my lip almost quiver with overwhelming sadness.

Because ever since we were just kids. We were connected. If he felt something,I felt it too and if I felt something,he would feel it even more than I would sometimes.

"If you lose faith in me, I am nothing at all, because without you I can't feel. I can't love. I am just a shallow person that uses substances to feel relatively okay." Timothée's voice croaks, as he swallows a big lump in his throat.