Shattered Asylum

Chapter 43

TRIGGER WARNING:

mentions of abuse and miscarriage

Time seemed to stand still in that timeless void, suspended in the inky depths of unconsciousness. When I finally came to, it was though I were emerging from the depths of a deep dark ocean, clawing my way back to the surface of consciousness.

My head throbbed with a dull ache, my body heavy and sluggish as though I had been dragged through the murky depths of some unseen force. As I blink, the world starts coming back into focus.

Faces swim into view, their expressions a mixture of concern and relief as they are hovered of me like guardian angels watching over a fallen soul. Even though my mind is still groggy from being unconscious, there is one thing that is still crystal clear.

A profound sense of dread and despair for the simple miracle of being alive.

~

I walk to lunch with Kristina, Nora and Vinnie. My eyes instantly land on Ashley and Daniel making out at a table, her light brown hair slightly knotted as he pulls on it. The sour taste of throw up rises in the back of my throat as I remember what he said a few hours ago.

"So I was thinking you guys come to help set up for the party around 5 and we'll still have enough time to get ready." Nora's voice brings me back to reality. I subconsciously nod my head, not really paying attention.

Kristina slightly nudges my arm, her eyes filled with concern. I give her a half smile before rubbing my eyes. I just need to become home schooled at this point, it's the only way I can really be safe.

We get our food and sit down at our table. I push my food around on my plate, my elbow rested on the table, holding my head in my hand. "Are you okay?" Kristina asks as she watches me play with my food. I shake my head before covering my face with my hands as tears slowly leak from my eyes.

She grabs my arm and pulls me off my chair, dragging me outside. We get to the soccer field, no one in sight. I collapse into her arms, my sobs wracking my body like violent tremors as she held me close, her embrace a lifeline in the darkness that threatened to consume me whole.

Her touch is a balm to my shattered soul, her whispered words of comfort a soothing melody amidst the cacophony of my despair.

She didn't try to fix me, didn't offer empty promises of a brighter tomorrow. She simply held me, her presence a silent testament to the depth of our friendship.

I buried my face into her shoulder, letting my aching heart burst open, releasing a torrent of emotion that had been building within me for far too long. I poured out my grief, my fears, and my regrets. All the pain and anguish that had threatened to consume me from within.

And through it all, she remained a silent witness to the raw vulnerability laid bare in the wake of my tears. She didn't shy away from my pain, didn't flinch at the sight of my brokenness. She embraced it, cradling my shattered pieces in the gentle curve of her arms as though they were precious treasures to be cherished and protected.

I know I am not alone anymore, that no matter how dark my life may seem, she will always be here to help me get through it. So I decide to tell her what I can about my past because I know she can handle it, she won't run away from me. 

"D-Daniel raped me." I stutter out through my sobs. She pulls me away from her and grabs my face. "What?" She asks, looking for the conformation that she heard me correctly. "He wants to try for another baby." I blurt out, my hands holding tightly onto her wrists.

"Y-You have a kid?" Her eyes slightly widen. I try to calm down, slowly breathing in and out before I say what i'm about to tell her. "He got me pregnant at 14, he told my step father, Joe, that we were expecting. He got so mad, said I ruined his business. He beat me so bad, I had a miscarriage." I hear her gasp before covering her mouth.

Tears start to well up in her eyes, her face starting to become pale. "I'm so sorry." She whispers. "The scars that you saw on my back are from Joe and Daniel whipping me. One of Joe's customers requested it." I squeeze my eyes shut as the flashbacks break free from the locked box I had buried away.

Her lower lip trembled, betraying the effort she made to hold back the flood of emotions threatening to engulf her. I pause, overwhelmed by the sight of her tears, by the raw empathy shining in her gaze.

She reached out, her hand trembling as it brushes against mine, a wordless gesture of solidarity in the face of unspeakable suffering. Her tears mingled with mine as we held each other.  

"D-Did Joe ever..."She cuts herself off, too scared to know the answer. "No, he would just-" I cut myself off, not wanting to say it again. I blow out a shaky breath before looking at her. "No, he didn't." Is all I decide to say.

Her eyes bore into mine with an intensity that leaves me feeling vulnerable beneath her gaze, a depth of understanding that speaks volumes without the need for words. A silent acknowledgement of the pain that resides within me.

~

"Where did you and Kristina go during lunch?" Nora asks as we make our way to History. Kristina and I skipped study hall and math, sitting on the soccer field while we pour our hearts out to each other. "We just needed to talk about something." I say while scratching the back of my head.

"How're you and Vinnie? Everything still going good?" I ask changing the subject. She sighs as she looks off into the distance with heart eyes. "It's perfect, i'm falling in love." She confesses. I squeal as I grab her shoulders and shake her, my excitement getting the better of me.

"I can't believe you just said the L word!!! I'm so happy for you Nora!" I say grinning from ear to ear. She giggles at me, as I wave my arms around enthusiastically. I never thought I would see the day where my best friend was in love.

She was always the type to toy with their feelings not caring if it hurt them. I'm happy she found someone that can show her it's okay to love and to let him have the key to her heart.