She never came back.
It’s not like, I expected anything from anyone anyway. I just assumed that after those faithful encounters, we’d be friends. I think that doesn’t work that way.
I was called out by my Grandfather earlier today just to say they see me with random trainee soldiers in the lake and that’s not how the only lady in the family would act around men. Do they chase Melissa away? I don’t know... I’d rather think that she stops visiting me by choice.
“My Lady, dinner will be served at the Jade hall,” my Nanny announced. The Jade hall is where our family usually had dinner. That means, with all of them. As far as I can remember, my appearance in the Jade hall is something they didn’t wish to see if it wasn’t my Grandfather. I can count on my fingers how many times I’ve been in that place since I was born. The oppressing pressure, disappointed stares and mockery, like a lump in my throat that feels really suffocating.
And as I suspected, “Erin turned 13 last week, I received an invitation from the Palace, the 2nd Prince is looking for a prospect partner after his separation with his wife,”
“The 2nd Prince? He’s literally older than me by 10 years,” my 29 years old brother Jette said. Like his usual deep monotones, I thought I saw a friend in his statements. Honestly, I’ve already expected this kind of talk from the time Nanny starts to mention about the benefits of being wedded to the influential and wealthy family.
“We can’t waste her youth. The Crowned Prince doesn’t have any male heir and he’s late 60’s now. If the 2nd Prince had a son, people will start to question the succession.” My Eldest brother Connell added. I was just biting my lips and not giving any hints of approval or disapproval. “We used to be a family of males. I’m sure Erin will give birth to a male at least.”
I didn’t notice I was gripping my cutleries so hard until I saw some hint of blood stains on the table cloth. My mind is full of hate and resentment not just to my family but mostly to myself. I can’t accept the fact that all of what they’re saying was the draft of my near future.
Why do I not have a say about this myself? Why am I trying so hard to please these kinds of people? I hate them. I hate everyone, I hate myself.
“ERIN!” I snapped out on reality when and looked up to them. Every one of them were casting their own magic circles directed to me. The Hall was destroyed completely and few of our maids were lifeless. Big statues and paintings, everything around me was destroyed. My Grandfather had his infamous impregnable barrier cast and they’re all looking at me like they’re looking at a monster.
I.. I am not the monster here..
──────⊱ ❈ ⊰──────
Jules
༺❀༻
My room was transferred to the West Meadows. A separate 500 years old castle used to contain my Ancestor named Hector. He’s one of the most significant men in History. Being one of the Generals at the Great War slaughtering 40,000 soldiers alone and gaining the name Executioner. None of those he killed are enemies. He is the enemy of the Empire. Siding with his friend, The heretic Arthus Nathan, he is charged for treason. Some of the history books suggest that his mind was controlled by Arthus and made him the mightiest soldier in his arsenal but some say, he’s born with serious mental issues.
Before my previous mentor was executed because of preaching wrong doctrines, he told me that Hector is actually a willful man with a strong sense of justice who stands beside his master, The great mage Arthus.
None of those doctrines, fake or real, matters to me now. I am considered an outcast from the time I set foot on this gloomy looking castle. I’m used to it. Another 5-10 years from this lonely place is no different from having it at my previous place anyway.
