as the stars would have it

77

"No love, however brief, is wasted."

* * *

CHAPTER 77

JACHIN DIDN'T expect it to be so soon, but seeing Mila in front of his department's building, her hair tousled and eyes stained with tears, he just couldn't turn her away.

Napatingin si Rigo sa kanya bago siya tinapik sa balikat. "Una na muna kami. Mag-usap muna kayo."

Nagpaalam muna siya sa ibang blockmates  na kasama na may kakausapin lang saglit. Some of them said hi to Mila nang madaanan nila ito palabas because they knew her as one of their close friends.

Jachin ran a hand through his hair and took a few steps down the pathway towards Mila. Mila thought he was going to approach her, stand near her personal space like he used to, pero nilagpasan siya nito lumakad papunta sa kabilang side.

Mila followed him silently.

Naglakad sila malapit sa mga upuan sa labas ng building. This was where his friends would usually wait kapag nasa loob pa siya at may klase, so sitting here is nothing new to the both of them—but today felt different.

Today felt like the universe was watching two hearts break again.

They ended up sitting on each end of the stone bench, maintaining their distance. Mila glanced at Jachin who was looking straight ahead. It was funny how one mistake can make someone very close to you feel like they're miles away.

Mila squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. It was never this hard to talk to Jachin. Lagi itong handang makinig at umintindi sa kanilang lahat, at kahit sa mga taong hindi nito kilala. But she knew that what she did made him like this. "I'm sorry for barging. I just. . . I just have to say something. And I know you probably don't want to hear my voice, but I just need this one time."

Mila observed his reaction, hinihintay na magalit ito sa kanya, kasi mas gusto niya 'yon. But it never came.

When he didn't say anything, Mila continued. "Jachin. . . I'm sorry."

Jachin kept his gaze on the horizon, watching the sunset and the slow wind down of everything inside their campus—nag uuwiang mga estudyante, nagsasarang mga stall ng kainan, at mga nag-aalisang faculty member, while also being aware of how much his insides were clamoring for the reason—for the truth. "Para sa'n?"

"For hurting you. Sa lahat ng sinabi ko. . . at hindi ko sinabi. I know the damage has been done and I won't be able to take it back." Mila admitted.

Despite all that she has been blaming herself for, there is one truth that she wouldn't take back. "Pero gusto kong malaman mo na mahal kita."

Umiling si Jachin at hinilot ang sentido nito. "Mahal mo ako kasi kailangan mo ko para sa pride mo. Magkaiba 'yon, Mila. Magkaibang magkaiba. You don't claim to love someone tapos gaganituhin mo."

Mila felt the stabbing pain in her heart at his words. It felt like her heart was being stomped on by the one person she trusted, by the one person she loved. Pero alam niyang totoo ang mga binibitawan nitong salita. She was selfish. But it didn't mean his words didn't feel like he was sticking a thousand needles on her heart.

And Jachin could see that. He wanted to take it back habang pinapaalala sa sarili ang sinabi ni Evie. Na dapat wala na siyang galit sa puso niya 'pag kinausap niya si Mila, but circumstances didn't even let him have that respite.

He was torn between protecting his heart and laying it bare to Mila, because laying it bare to her meant letting her know how much she was able to hurt him.