Will
"Will!"
I heard my little brother's voice from all the way across the room. He spotted me almost as soon as I entered. I'm honestly not even sure how. It was jam-packed crowded in here, and he was much shorter than everyone else around him.
I couldn't help the smile that came to my face when I walked through the New York City club to their reserved table up front. "Austin, buddy! How are you?" I engulfed him in a hug, and he smiled hugely.
"I missed you! I'm so glad you came!"
"Me too!" Kayla jumped in, wrapping her arms around us as well.
A night life club and bar wasn't exactly the perfect scene for my reunion with my 9 and 13 year old siblings, but things lined up that way when your Mom's a singer. The venues are all over the place, and she didn't care what other people thought. She brought us— well, she used to bring all of us— to every single show.
When I'd called Kayla this morning and told her I'd be there tonight, she was ecstatic.
"I can't stay too long, though," I'd said. "As soon as Mom's set is over, I'll have to go back to school, okay?"
My plan was to dip before she even got offstage, so I wouldn't have to interact with her at all. I hated that it needed to be that way, and in the back of mind I felt like I was in the wrong for purposefully wanting to leave without speaking to her. I mean, she was still my Mom. Being here tonight made it hard to remember why I was so angry with her, because all I could think about were the good memories.
I talked with Kayla and Austin for a bit before the music started. A lot of people were up, dancing and singing along, but we sat at the table quietly watching, clearly out of place for the scene.
Once it was my Mom's turn, I felt a wave of nostalgia hit me. I remembered being 12 years old, listening to her play. She'd always look at me and smile during her sets, even wave to us. She had always made it clear to me that singing and music was her passion, but my siblings and I were her pride and joy.
"I will always pick you three over my shows," she whispered to me one night.
I was younger then, maybe 10? Austin was only 4, and Kayla was 8. It was on a rare occasion where we were back home in Texas, no upcoming travel plans looming. Both of them were fast asleep in their rooms, but I had woken up in the middle of the night screaming with a nightmare.
That happened to me a lot. More so when I was younger, but it even happens to this day.
That night, I dreamt that my Mom had left us just like my Dad.
My Mom had come straight into my room when she heard me, my siblings completely undisturbed, because again, this type of thing was common for me.
I remember her climbing into bed with me. "It's okay. I'm here, I'll always be here." She whispered into the quiet, dark room while running her fingers through my hair. "What was it about this time?"
I sniffled. I felt bad for even dreaming it, because I knew that it would never happen... at least, that's what I thought at the time.
"Y-you... you left," I said guiltily. "You went off for a show without us."
I remember the way her breath had caught. "Will," she whispered. "You know I love you so much. You and your siblings. I will always pick you three over my shows. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'll be here for you, no matter what."
My head felt fuzzy at the memory. Empty promises. Suddenly I was able to remember so clearly why I resented her.
Her set was over by now. I knew immediately after that she had seen me in the crowd. I'm not sure if Kayla told her I was coming.
