Will
"Yeah. Well, I'm about to board the plane now." I said into my phone.
"Are you nervous?" Nico's voice replied from the other end. "About seeing your mom, not the flight. Or both. Or neither?"
I laughed at his indecisiveness, but it still didn't work to take away the pit I felt growing in my stomach. "Of course I'm nervous. To see my mom, not to fly." I clarified.
"It'll be okay." He paused. "Call me when you land, okay? Or text, whatever. Just let me know. I, um... miss you, or whatever." His voice got mumbly at the last part. I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face.
"I miss you too. Or whatever."
"Don't make fun of me."
"I'm not! I'm not. The flight's about four hours, so it'll be about two pm when I call? Or, actually, New York's an hour ahead of Austin, so... I don't know. One pm? Or three? I don't know. I'll talk to you soon, though. If you don't hear from me, the plane probably crashed or something."
At this, a lady in front of me who was traveling with her kids turned around and gave me the stink eye.
Sorry, I mouthed, but rolled my eyes when she looked away.
"Alright. Bye."
"Bye."
I switched my phone to airplane mode before slipping it into my pocket.
Nico and I had been talking a lot these past few days. He and everyone else left for Montauk late last night, so now we'd resorted to texting and phone calls.
It was so... refreshing, in a way. I genuinely loved talking to him. I liked hearing anything he had to say, and I liked the sound of his voice.
My knees felt weak at the thought of his voice, his soft hands, his wispy hair, his lips on mine...
We hadn't kissed again. I'm not sure if I should've been worried about that, because of all the many things we'd talk about, we never talked about the kiss, and I wasn't sure if it was because he regretted it or what. But a more rational part of my brain is trying to tell me that if he did regret it, he'd probably be avoiding me right now rather than talking to me so much. Right?
"Each seat is equipped with an oxygen mask that will fall down in the event of an emergency. Make sure that you secure your own before helping anyone else..."
I tuned out of the rest of the flight attendant's safety speech when I sat down in my seat, which is probably bad, but whatever.
I put my AirPods in and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. My brain was jumping with thoughts about everything for the entire four hour flight. My Mom and what would happen with her. Nico and how I wasn't exactly sure where we stood. And... Luke.
He hadn't texted me for a while after the party, but today I woke up to a few messages from him.
Luke: heyy *attachment: 2 images
Those pictures made me sick. I can't believe I used to... I can't believe I... gods.
Luke: u ignoring me??
No response, so... yes. Ignoring.
When the plane finally did land, my nerves about seeing my Mom again got even stronger. My stomach had been hurting the entire flight, but now as I was exiting the plane I started to feel my chest get tight.
Come on, Will. I said to myself. Stop. You're doing this to yourself. Breathe.
But as the seconds passed, I found it harder and harder to, and I kept feeling like I couldn't catch my breath.
