Change | YoonMin | English

(XV) 'I can't anymore.'

Quite soon, Yoongi and Jimin are sitting on a bench in the park. A shy smile is persistent on Jimin's lips.

Yoongi says, 'Jimin...'

Jimin turns to face Yoongi and hums in a questioning tone.

Yoongi breathes shakily and continues, 'I already said that I was gonna take you to the museum. You could have said it. Why didn't you say anything?'

Jimin chuckles softly and says, 'I agreed to hang out because you were gonna take me. It's nice to hear your talk... I really like your voice.'

Yoongi says, 'I wanted to spend some time with you.' and gulps nervously.

Jimin hums and says, 'I like your company.'

Yoongi says, 'It has always been like that.'
Jimin asks, 'What?'
Yoongi answers, 'I've always wanted to spend time with you... Alone.'
Jimin asks, 'What do you mean?'
Yoongi answers, 'You might even hate me for saying this... But... I can't anymore.'

Jimin gulps nervously and says, 'Yoongi... You're scaring me.'

Yoongi reaches for Jimin's right hand and gently holds it. Jimin gulps anxiously and inhales shakily.

Yoongi takes a deep breath and says, 'I like you, Jimin... I can't see you as a friend.'

Jimin frees himself from Yoongi's hold and says, 'Stop joking, Yoongi.'

Yoongi says, 'I'm not joking, Jimin, and it's clearly not just a liking towards you. My feelings are genuine. I love you.'
Jimin says, 'This isn't funny, Yoongi.'
Yoongi says, 'What makes you think that I'm joking? I'm clearly not, Jimin. I'm trying to confess my feelings.'

Jimin chuckles bitterly and says, 'You can't be more ridiculous than this.'

Yoongi says, 'Don't tell me that you didn't know. I've liked you all along.'
Jimin says, 'I know, Yoongi. It was obvious.'
Yoongi says, 'Exactly. What makes you think that I'm being ridiculous?'
Jimin says, 'Things have changed. I thought I was being clear about everything.'

Yoongi asks, 'You said that certain things don't change, didn't you?'
Jimin answers, 'I did... But-'
Yoongi interrupts, 'Please, Jimin. Don't lie to yourself.'
Jimin says, 'I'm not lying to anybody.'
Yoongi asks, 'Can you tell me that you don't like me?'

Jimin does not answer Yoongi's question.

Yoongi says, 'I'm talking to you, Jimin.'
Jimin says, 'How does it matter, Yoongi? Do you think I'm gonna let you ruin your life? Definitely not.'
Yoongi asks, 'What do you mean by that?'
Jimin answers, 'This isn't gonna last.'
Yoongi says, 'Why? Is it because of our parents? I can talk to them. I'm ready to come out to my parents.'

Jimin chuckles bitterly and says, 'I already have enough problems in my life, Yoongi. I can't survive everything at once.'

Yoongi frowns and asks, 'What do you mean?'

Jimin answers, 'I know that you understand.'
Yoongi says, 'I don't. I really don't.'
Jimin says, 'What will I do when you leave me behind? I'm not that of an arsehole to ask you to be mine all your life.'
Yoongi says, 'It doesn't make you an arsehole, Jimin. I really want you to ask me that.'

Jimin asks, 'Are you gonna date me all your life and ruin it?'
Yoongi answers, 'I wanna be with you all my life and it doesn't mean that I'm gonna ruin my life.'
Jimin says, 'I can't fucking see you! Isn't it obvious that you'll leave me behind as soon as you feel bored of me?'
Yoongi says, 'Give me a chance, Jimin. I'm not asking you for more. Just one chance.'

Jimin does not respond.

Yoongi reaches for Jimin's right hand and continues, 'Baby... Please... I love you.'

Jimin's eyes shed tears as he begins to sob silently.

Yoongi pulls Jimin closer and holds him by his nape. Jimin buries his face in Yoongi's neck and sobs for a minute.

Yoongi brushes Jimin's nape and says, 'I should have told you about my feelings earlier when we were in university. I'm sorry, baby... I'm such an idiot.'

Jimin breaks the hug and asks, 'Do you know what bothers me the most?'

Yoongi presses his lips tight and hums in a disagreeing tone.

Jimin says, 'I can't remember your face.'
Yoongi says, 'It's okay.'
Jimin says, 'It's definitely not okay, Yoongi. How can I forget the face of the person I love?'
Yoongi says, 'Touch me. Trace my face. You can imagine what I look like.'

Jimin smiles bitterly in response.

Yoongi notices an old lady in her 60s staring at him and Jimin with a disgusted look in her eyes.

Yoongi holds Jimin's right hand and says, 'Let's go.'

Jimin asks, 'Is something wrong?'
Yoongi answers, 'Come with me.'
Jimin says, 'Okay...'

Yoongi stands up and Jimin follows. He begins to walk holding Jimin's hand.

Yoongi takes Jimin to the car and makes him sit in the passenger seat. He sits in the driver's seat and holds both of Jimin's hands.

Yoongi pulls Jimin closer and makes the latter hold his face. Jimin traces Yoongi's face—his fingertips explore every inch of Yoongi's face.

Jimin, with teary eyes, says, 'You must be handsome.'

Yoongi says, 'Thank you, baby.' and smiles shyly.

Jimin cups Yoongi's face and gently pecks the corner of his lips.

Yoongi holds Jimin's nape and pulls him closer for a kiss. He passionately smooches Jimin's lips.

Jimin moans softly and lets Yoongi's tongue slide inside his mouth. Yoongi explores each corner of Jimin's mouth.

Quite soon, Yoongi begins to kiss Jimin's neck. He licks a small portion of Jimin's neck and is about to bite it.

Jimin says, 'Yoongi, stop it.' and leans backwards.

Yoongi breathes heavily and asks, 'What's wrong?'

Jimin answers, 'Not here... Not right now.'
Yoongi says, 'Okay... I'm sorry...'
Jimin says, ‘Thank you for understanding.'
Yoongi says, 'Mmm... Should we go home?'
Jimin says, 'Aye.'

Yoongi fastens Jimin's seatbelt and fastens his. He starts the engine and drives off.