Enhanced || JJK

XXXVII. Fears

When I walked in through the front door, I was still deep in thought, feeling like the worst person ever, especially after Jungkook had been so open with me about his secret meetings. He had trusted me with something so private while I was keeping from him the very reason why I had approached him. Some would say I was definitely overthinking, that it didn't really matter how it happened and that I had no ill intentions, but I still felt like a fraud.

"Did I scare him away?" My dad asked, trying to hide a mischievious smile.
"Dad! You have to stop doing that!" I reprimanded him. The tone was meant to be playful, just like his, but my current state of mind shifted it to a more serious tone and my dad got concerned.
"Luna, you know I was just messing with him... It's nothing serious, he seems like a good guy", he tried to explain, even though I already knew his intent.
"Yeah, yeah, dad, I know... I'm sorry..."

My mom heard the conversation from the kitchen and came to my dad's rescue.
"Is everything okay, sweetie? Is this Jungkook guy treating my daughter like a princess?" She asked, which made me feel even worse, because yes, he actually was, and now I had only managed to get my parents worried. I had to snap out of it, so I shook my head trying to get my fears out of it and then I put a smile on.
"Yeah, of course, I'm good, you guys! Everything is good with him! I just feel embarassed when you ask! Stop doing that!" I said, laughing.
"She's right, honey! We're too up in their business... They're kids, we need to give them a little space... Not too much, just a little!" My mom agreed and my dad put his hands up, defeated.

We then went to have lunch and didn't speak about it again, even though I was still thinking about it and the only person I could ask advice to was Tae, as always.
"You really can't go five seconds without asking for my help, can you, Lulu? I swear, I feel like you would forget how to walk if I didn't remind you!" He made fun of me as soon as he picked up the call, after lunch.
"Ah ah, very funny, Tae! I'm serious... Like, what do you think? Isn't it terrible that I'm keeping it from him?"
"I'm sorry, what changed in the four hours we didn't speak? 'Cause this morning you were thinking about something very different!" I blushed thinking about the advice I had asked him that same morning.
"Well, nothing, I mean, we just hung out and talked... Not about that, though!" I wanted to clarify that Jungkook didn't talk about the awkward moment from the previous night, but at the same time I couldn't really tell him what our conversation had been about, I was set on keeping his secret safe.
"Okay, then what did you talk about?" He kept asking, thinking that it was important to understand why I was having that type of worry. And he was right, but I just had to skip the reason and go straight to the problem.

"Nothing important, that's not the point... I just have been thinking... And I feel terrible, 'cause this all started from our stupid plan... The whole reason I got closer to him was to find something to hate about him and get over my crush for him... So I basically used him, right? And if he had actually been an asshole, it would've been fine, I wouldn't have felt guilty... But he's sweet and an amazing boyfriend and now I feel like shit!"
"Yeah, I get it, but it's not that big of a deal... I mean yeah, sure, that was your first intention, but it's not like you kept playing with him once you saw he actually cared about you... If it was me, I would've! Just to get my revenge for all those years of him making fun of you... And yeah, I know, he was desperate for your attention, but still... There are way better ways to get a girl's attention... Well, now nothing really comes to my mind, I'm still new to the game, but there must be... I'll have to work on it or Lia will just ignore me and move on to the next guy!"

Tae got lost in his own world once again, but everything he had said was right, I couldn't argue with it. I was just too afraid of keeping this secret to myself, 'cause I know me, I'm terrible at keeping secrets. What if I just said something by mistake at some point in our relationship and he felt so betrayed he decided to break things off? I would hope he woudn't let go of us that easily, but how could I know?

I thanked Tae for yet another advice and he said that obviously he was joking at the beginning of the phone call and that he loved the fact that I would often ask him for help. It made him feel like I had a really high opinion of his judgment. And I did, but in this case I wasn't sure I was going to follow his advice, so I told him I was going to think about it. He reassured me and told me that I had to do whatever was going to get my mind at peace. Then he talked a little bit more about Lia and I could tell he was already falling in love even if he didn't know it yet.

That night, during dinner, I was pretty quiet, just one-sillable answers, until my dad got fed up with it.
"Okay, I know I promised I wouldn't butt in, but you know I don't like seeing you like this! So just lay it on me, what is it?"
I kept saying nothing was wrong, but it was evident, so they knew I was lying and I knew they knew, which made me feel even worse.
"I just have a lot to think about..." I concluded, hoping the conversation could end there.
"Aaaah the first love... That's hard... And the first stages are even messier... You remember, honey?" He then said to my mom.
"Honey, that was ages ago and I don't think she cares to hear that story now", she said trying to be considerate of my feelings, but my dad was onto something.
"You remember the whole ordeal with that friend of yours?"
"You mean Sunhee? How are you calling her my friend? She befriended me only because she liked you... Ah that little-"
Dad interrupted her before she could curse the girl out.
"Yes, yes! That one! You almost refused to get together with me because you thought there was something going on between me and her..."
"Well, that's what she told me, she even showed me the texts! She said you had been talking to her while we were going out! I mean, Luna, you can't imagine how mad I was! I locked myself up in my house for a week!"
My mom seemed to be feeling the same rage she felt back then and it was cute. I had never imagined my parents young and in love, it was refreshing to see them like that, instead of fighting about futile day-to-day stuff.

"Dad, that's crazy! And you didn't do anything?" I asked my dad, feeling involved in the conversation and curious about how the rest of the story went.
"What do you mean? Of course I did something or you wouldn't be here! I went to her house everyday, texting her to come down and meet me so we could talk. For a week she was unwavering, then spring break was over and she had to come back to school, so I could finally talk to her. I explained the truth and spoke honestly, that's the only way one can build a trustful relationship..." My dad smiled sweetly and I could tell that the whole story was only meant to teach me what is the fundation of an healthy relationship and that, despite not knowing why I was in a bad mood, love can be easier than what it is made out to be, if we just entrust our heart to he other person.

Then, my mom interrupted the emotional atmosphere and managed to make us burst out laughing.
"Well, I actually didn't believe him one bit and asked for proof, so he forced Sunhee to tell me the truth, but yeah, let's go with his version... Seems more romantic!"